AmalgaMade

Au Revoir and Cheers (is that right?)

2009-04-02T10:57:00.002-04:00

Until next week, as I journey to the oh-so-international/cosmopolitan destinations of Paris and London! Lots of pictures and sore thumb outfits, I promise.

My Kind of Man

2009-03-24T21:05:00.003-04:00

Somebody find him and give him my phone number A.S.A.P.! I have "been in love" with Pharrell (of N*E*R*D and the Neptunes, for the cave-dwellers) since the 8th grade (that's uh...10 years?!) But every time I think it may be waning, I read something amazing by or about him or see something like this:

Ugh, excuse the dramatic in me, but I am dying of squee! Personally, I would have made everything on the menu for him, even though as a former waitress, a fast food job sounds like hell on a stick to me. I don't care how deplorable and uninformed this is, but I would have this guy's kids...really. I love stuff like this, and I particularly love when guys can be silly like this. Typically, guys I meet are too concerned with appearing hardcore or something in that vein...but I guess being a millionaire quite a few times over has made the difference in Pharrell: that or he's higher than a Jackie Wilson song. He might just be happy that he and his band of merry men weren't detained in Malaysia.

I recall serenading a group of New Orleans Westbank Wal-Mart employees at 3 am with a song, I think it was something from Usher's "Confessions" album. They were about as amused as the girls in this video, especially when my friend took it upon herself to remove her stilettos. I also sing to anybody who has the good (or mis-) fortune to look into my car when I'm in a good mood and listening to a CD at full blast. I...sound a lot more annoying than I actually am in person, now that I think about it. In my defense, that impromptu early morning medley was under the influence of Everclear and various other liquids that tasted suspiciously like what I imagine drain cleaner tastes like. Well anyway, the video is funny, and I remember playing a hand-clapping game to that song as a kid. That makes it more endearing, I think.

Good Job, Mescudi

2009-03-21T12:45:00.001-04:00

I feel a little better now. :-)

Visit Pigeons and Planes if you haven't already.

Enough Already

2009-03-19T23:24:00.003-04:00

I know the GO International/Designer Collections for Target are not everybody's "thing", but I have been following them for quite some time. Sometimes they look nothing like the designer's typical (or just most current) aesthetic, to the point where you assume surely some intern must have been relegated the duty of overseeing the design process. Sometimes the material is disappointingly sheer or rough. Sometimes you can karate chop one of the dresses or shirts in half because it's so damn thin, or the patent leather looks too plastic or whatever. I accept all of these things with an understanding I carry into thrift stores: it's worth it because some things are just that great. Although it's not everyone's style, I'm still loving the hell out of my Thakoon for Target trapeze dress.

I am, with my newest pieces of clothing, like a teenage girl is with her first boyfriend, i.e. imagining all of the places we'll go together, what I'll pair it with, how nice I'll treat it, etc. Well the McQ by Alexander McQueen for Target collection is my latest crush. I don't know if it'll work out, but I sure love daydreaming about it in my wardrobe. I don't combine our names in a school notebook, but I Google/look for it, trying to figure out where it'll be and when...imagining how amazing a few of the pieces will look with some of my other clothes. Each time I go into Target lately, it's on a cloud, hoping my crush will be there...and it isn't. It just isn't. It's downright frustrating. How is this national chain not synchronized about receiving the collections, damnit? I can't even ask the employees, because at best, all I ever get is a blank stare, or they ask me how to spell McQueen. Hmph. Just wanted to pout a little, I guess. I may like nothing when I see it in person, but that studded denim jacket I saw is just dying to accompany me to Europe.

Does anybody know when the full national release date is, or when it's supposed to be? I can't even find the original info I read in January that said the release date was March 6th or something.

Welcome to Heartbreak

2009-03-17T20:23:00.005-04:00

Kid Cudi, noooo! I can't say I really blame you, but no! This news has really got me Down & Out. I just put my two best friends up on you, even though I've been loving your mixtape for a minute! Your debut album hasn't even dropped yet, and you're stepping back from rapping? How can I Embrace the Martian if dude is running in the opposite direction? I guess you're questioning Is There Any Love in the industry...but since you say you've achieved your goals, do you really have to play the industry game to keep making G.O.O.D. music? You talked about 50 Ways to Make a Record, surely there are at least 50 ways to keep from being affected by the bullsh*t business! It sucks that your friends are seeing you in a different light now and all, but I guess the limelight burns sometimes. Well, as a fan, I wish you good luck, Mr. Solo Dolo, and I'll definitely be on the lookout if (or Whenever) you change your mind.

Wear Your Green...

2009-03-17T16:07:00.002-04:00

if you don't want to get pinched today! Unless, of course, you're violent and just waiting for someone to dare touch you.

This video is still funny, 3 years later. Oh, someone help me. Am I having some kind of attack? I can't stop laughing, so I really hope that I am typing this correctly.

Soundtrack for My Life: 3/16/09

2009-03-17T01:19:00.003-04:00

For The Record...

2009-03-07T00:43:00.001-05:00

Just saw Watchmen, and it was pretty damn weird...and I say that in the best way possible, because I loved it!

And You Ask Yourself..."Where Is My Mind?"

2009-03-06T09:19:00.002-05:00

I'd like to preface this with the fact that domestic and sexual abuse are not foreign, unrelatable concepts within my family.

Aside from emotional outbursts and snarky comments/jokes on other blogs and with my The View-watching mother, I've tried not to address/place judgment on this whole Domestic Disturbia thing. It should be a semi-private matter, worked out between those two involved, their families, friends, and legal and spiritual counsel. But it isn't. It's a media circus, a mess, a fiasco of epic proportions, complete with "Bat Boy exists!"-esque rumors and speculation as well as interviews with Chris Brown's Sunday School teacher and the custodian who cleans Rihanna's regular recording studio, even by those media outlets with a semblance of credibility. It has in part helped me realize that when it comes to the American media/publicity machine, there is no bottom. "Can this be any more depraved?" has become a purely rhetorical musing, since the answer is always yes, all under the guise of the journalistic standby that people deserve to know everything. Who will get ahold of Rihanna's bloody dress? Who can find the most gruesome photo of her face? Will the person who called the police speak out? Will the girl who sent the alleged text message be revealed? What are Chris Brown and Rihanna doing right now? It's downright unsettling, because I am only just now noticing how desensitized the public (including me) is about these things. It's as if we think we have the right to know, to pass judgment, to demonize and analyze. Yet, things of this magnitude or greater occur with seeming regularity right in our own families, neighborhoods, and towns, and we (collectively) turn our heads, say it's not our business and that we don't want to get involved. Why does the situation change when a celebrity is involved? We are no more connected to them than a person we make eye contact with once in a hallway, maybe less so.

Anyway, I admit that I've been guilty of it as well, so excuse me if I come across as hypocritical. I've just read so many comments and opinions that I didn't get to address and really, would have loved to talk about this with those people to understand why they feel as they do.

"Rihanna's so stupid for (allegedly) taking him back. She deserves whatever she gets, because she's enabling an abuser."
I do think, provided she really did take him back, that she made a very stupid decision.
I understand that abuse is difficult to differentiate when combined with love. Both actions require emotion and passion, so it's possible and even probable to become conditioned to believe they are related, or even one and the same. However, I define "stupid" as having a wealth of information and support at your disposal to influence your decision-making away from dangerous choices (or at least those with very high risk), yet making said dangerous choices anyway. I don't think people were stupid for smoking in the 40's; they had very little information, so I'd just call them ignorant. People who choose to take up smoking or continue to smoke currently are making a stupid decision. Of course, this doesn't reflect on their overall mentality, just their thought processes for a particular decision. Same goes for Rihanna. I've been guilty of it too. I stuck with a guy who wasn't like he used to be, thinking he'd change back to the person I thought I knew instead of getting out while the getting was good, before I got my heart broken. So to a lesser extent, I am not immune to stupid decisions. No one ever deserves to be abused, however, no matter what. Violence is not an answer to a problem, because it only creates more problems.

"Chris Brown is a monster who should be put under the jail. He's sick and deserves to die/be anally raped in prison/be castrated/burn in hell/etc."
No. Absolutely not. The demonizing of this young man is downright disgusting. He did an awful thing, yes that's true. He even (allegedly) is a repeat offender. He deserves to be punished by law for his actions. Anything else is up to God. Or karma. Or whatever you believe in. None of us have been appointed as his judge and jury in this life or after.

"Chris Brown/Rihanna is an adult who shouldn't be cut any slack for whatever reason."
These two people may be adults in age, very close to my own, but I see them as children/teenagers. Think about it. Both of them witnessed some traumatizing things in their lives. Some 30- and 40-somethings are still working similar issues out with therapists or medication. I know that some people who have also seen drug-addicted or domestically abused parents have grown up to become stronger and better people for it, but everyone does not have the same constitution or emotional pain tolerance. These two became top-earners and breadwinners within in their families at an age when many are worried about acne, getting an A in sophomore biology, or going to the prom: i.e., seemingly frivolous things. From that point on they've lived a lifestyle alien to most of us. They've been primped, prodded, spoiled, and coddled for years since. How could they possibly have managed to go through whatever experiences are necessary to "grow up normally?" Even children should be punished for things that are reprehensible, but I can't imagine not feeling bad for both of them, not just Rihanna. Clearly Chris Brown has not had the time he's needed to confront his demons, nor has Rihanna had the time to build up a self-esteem that matches her public persona.

"You're stupid for criticizing Rihanna because you don't understand the cycle of abuse."
Many people were saying that to commenters, particularly those who experienced it first hand. The cycle of abuse is easily comprehended: honeymoon phase ->build-up/tension ->explosion ->honeymoon phase. That doesn't mean it should be accepted. (Some) People who criticize Rihanna's role in all of this are basing their opinions on how it should be, not how it is. Having a chart on the widely accepted abuse cycle does NOT make it all right. It merely makes it common, which is not the same thing at all. It seems as if these people are defensive because they also took back an abuser, currently or in the past, and (perhaps rightfully) feel like a criticism of Rihanna's decisions is a criticism of their own similar decisions. Well, for their sake, I wish someone had been around to talk them out of it, too.

"Celebrities are not immune to the cycle of abuse."
Obviously not, but Jesus Christ, she IS a celebrity and it is 2009, not 1969! My grandmother (as lovely a woman as she was) had 10 children, a gambling problem, an abusive boyfriend, and black skin in 1960's and 70's Mississippi. Now, tell me that ain't hard. She had very few options for herself. Rihanna is financially independent (even if she is "broke", if she would just forgo the $12,000 shoes and bags for a while, she'd be good to go), has no children with Chris Brown, has a security team (who obviously weren't on their job that night), and a support system in her family, millions of fans, and incredibly powerful industry friends (hello, Jay-Z and Kanye). Why on EARTH would she stay? Well, people would go for this garbage:

"Love is very complicated."
No, it is not. Call me a romantic, but love is the simplest, purest thing in existence. People are complicated. It is our thoughts and questions that complicate it and our need for qualifiers that muck it up and turn it into all these things that we don't understand and ruin for ourselves. One drop of pee can spoil the bucket of water, or whatever the dumb saying is. Trying to mix love and pride, love and fear, love and jealousy, or love and abuse will always leave you confused and hurt. Not that it's impossible to overcome, but to me it's really like eating a fallen souffle: it's kind of hard to enjoy when you have that constant reminder that something's wrong or off. Chris Brown and Rihanna will make their own decisions about being together, but personally I think it's a bad idea. When there is physical evidence that a person invokes that kind of ire in Chris, why would he want to continue walking that tightrope, possibly regressing and hurting the woman he thinks he loves...again? Would Rihanna ever really be comfortable with him again, or would she walk on eggshells, afraid to do or say the wrong thing? What kind of life is that? What kind of love is that? I would think love, real actual love, would be expressed in the ability to let the other go, when a relationship is that volatile, to preserve the life (biologically or socially) of that other person. Obsessive relationships should have died with Romeo & Juliet. Grrr. I blame the drippy nonsense that is Twilight.

There is so much more. I suppose because the whole subject is so taboo, yet so intriguing to the public because of the "high-profile" people involved. I can hardly ever stop myself from talking once I get going, so luckily with typing, my hands get tired. I'll just leave you with a song that's lyrics are appropriate with the situation, I think, sung by one of the better, underrated contemporary singers.

Amel Larrieux: "Say You Want It All"

Someone Stop Me

2009-02-21T02:47:00.006-05:00

What do you do when your friends are at Mardi Gras weekend festivities, and you have to stay home and study for a test?

Paint leopard print on your nails, of course! Forget "swagga"...no one on the corner has boredom like me. I am so very much over studying for tests. Why did I choose medicine? Damn interests... Ignore the blurriness of the photos by the way. My digital camera's on the rag (she's...kind of a bitch) and the iPhone's default shutter speed is abysmal.
Clearly I went to the Solange Knowles School of Girl, You So Different. It's painfully obvious they aren't professionally done, but I love them. I did this on my first try! No redo's or anything. I'll be very sad tomorrow when I forget they're painted and start gnawing on my fingernails or whatever other "unladylike" thing I'm always doing. These came out a lot better than my spotted dice nails from last year. Haha, I can barely paint by numbers, but I always feel pretty creative when it comes to my nails.

Oh, and I am thisclose to getting this monstrosity tattooed on my finger (except not so crooked):
Don't tell me I was the only chick in 8th-9th grade giving herself temporary tattoos...anybody? Well anyway, I'm embracing my inner d-bag, heh. I know I'd love to see the ridiculous looks I'd get about this tat. If people asked "what does it mean?" that'd be my cue to put my pinky up to the corner of my lip and say in my best Dr. Evil voice: "One beeeellleeeun dollars..." Talk about old meme, but I still like to do that (hey, I'm a simple girl). I must say though, I'm torn about finger tattoos. On one hand (ha), they aren't very private, like my other one, and they're often inane (see above), but on the other hand, I often find them funny and cute (with the exception of the finger mustache, but hey, different strokes). Perhaps I should refrain from mutilating myself further. I've still got a handful of piercings I want to get and regret in 15 years. Seriously though, now that I have this idea in my head, anyone around me is best advised to keep me away from tattoo parlors when I'm feeling either impulsive or drunk...or both. I swear I'm going to be the most dubious-looking M.D. in my graduating class, at this rate, unless there's a Doogie Howser admitted.

Spring Trends I'm Sporting: The Cold Shoulder

2009-02-14T09:42:00.002-05:00

Ok, confession time: I haven't owned anything with one-shoulder since this obscenely ostentatious and bedazzled Baby Phat club top from my first year in college (better known as: my last and most shameful year as a mid-priced "label ho"...all that money, yeesh). I know they've been popping up on runways for the better part of the decade, particularly in Greek Goddess form. That's all well and good, but not too many things I attend call for such glamour, so I typically ignore them. That is, until this year. I have to admit, my infatuation with the designers' collections (RTW, mostly) is fairly recent in my life...as much I've loved beautiful, expensive clothes, and thumbing through Vogue most of my life, for a long time, all S/S meant to me was short-sleeved. So anyway, I'm loving one-shoulder dresses and tops and their asymmetrical necklines. I know NY Fashion Week for F/W '09 is upon us, but spring isn't here yet, so technically, I'm not late at all.

My favorite portrayal of this look by a collection (of the ones I saw) had to be Erin Fetherston.

Hmmm...why is this my favorite? Well, I loved (most of) the one-shouldered looks. And, I appreciated the variety Erin Fetherston gave; rather than just dresses, there were tops with skirts and pants. It looks a little more true to life, especially with the colors she used, adding her own bit of edge with bows, ruffles and sequins. I would definitely wear any of these in a heartbeat. Plus, I love her and the fact that Zooey Deschanel is her current face for her high-end brand.

Luella's color scheme was much brighter and absolutely dead-on for spring. Some people abhorred this collection, but I love it. I especially loved the hot black gloves being paired with these colors. I'm having a hard time deciding which is my favorite of these. I'm torn between the two lavender dresses and the floral coral (haha) pink one.

Catharine Malandrino stuck with the elegant dresses, and I am a huge fan of the dress in the middle. I love everything about it: the simplicity, the girly ruffles, the sheerness, all of it. It's definitely in my top three favorites. The other two dresses made me love them because of the great draping and beadwork, plus she went for a creamy, ivory-ish nude color (I'm such a great writer) I wasn't seeing in other shows.

I really like these dresses, especially the beadwork on the right sleeve of the dress on the right, but I mostly posted this because I had NO idea La Perla showed clothes. I honestly thought a La Perla runway show was the high-end equivalent of the Victoria's Secret Fashion show. Haha, color me embarrassed.

Looking at Monique Lhuillier's collection, my first thought was that it was "dated" and didn't look unique, which is weird, because how many ways can you make a one-shouldered dress? But the more I looked at these flowy gowns, the more I liked them. If you can't tell by now, I'm a sucker for intricate, non-tacky beadwork. And then, I saw the gown on the right. I love the full, sheer sleeve, not sure why. All I know is I let out a squee of excitement when I saw it.

I loved these primary-colored gowns and the way they flowed, even in a picture. My favorite is probably the blue gown, with the sheer yellow bow on its side: gorgeous. All of these colors are bold and amazing. It makes me feel like a child seeing colors for the first time, or something similarly strange and hard to describe.

Marchesa was my favorite collection overall. What can I say? At the end of the day, I fall for dangerous, romantic dresses, every time. The dresses speak for themselves, I think, but the black ones are my favorite. The champagne colored dress on the left seems incredibly unforgiving to any girl who isn't shaped like a prepubescent boy, but it sure is flawless to look at.

Calvin Klein was kind of disappointing. I look forward to his basics and monochromes, but the dresses in the show looked like bags from the front, which is deceiving because they are fabulous from the back. I do still love the sleeve of this dress, but I was hoping to see more waist than architecture.

These were my favorite dresses from Celine. If I recall correctly, they were the only two that were asymmetrical at the shoulders. The black is my favorite, naturally, another top 3 winner, but the blue of the other dress is amazing, as well as its cut. It looks kind of baggy in motion but like it would hit all of the right spots in pose.

Dsquared surprised. I really thought their dresses would look more like the topmost black dress from my Marchesa picture or like the Lacroix dress below. But they kept it simple with a white sheath, which I could take or leave. My ADHD demands busy patterns. The belt and cuffs are killer, though.

Last but not least, the daring Christian Lacroix. There were other dresses, but this one I loved immediately. I felt it was the only one worth showing. It's the right amount of edge, and that arm cuff is so great! Sigh, I wish I was rich.

Also: Happy Valentine's Day, to anyone who cares to hear it. ;)

pics courtesy of: style.com, a fashion novice's best friend.

Janet Jackson Deserves Reparations

2009-02-02T10:55:00.007-05:00

She does, from the stigma of Nipplegate. Her career just hasn't been the same, all because people caught a glimpse of a nipple for half of a second. We need some Nipplegate/Penisgate shirts A.S.A.P.

Well what's going to happen to Comcast and the wagging penis guy? Clearly, if we are to judge by the footage, he was going to be the big winner of the night, not Jennifer Hudson (who may have lip-synced?) or the Steelers (who made a fantastic comeback at the last). Damn my DirectTV and its uninterrupted game footage. I missed the most epic imitation of Tyler Durden in Fight Club ever, even if it was only in Tucson. I mean, it's the most watched sporting event next to the Olympics, and this was Tucson's hometeam.

http://www.comcastsuperbowlporn.com Such a clever name. You'll have to use Internet Explorer to view it, for whatever technical reason. NSFW/church/life/etc.

I find it hilarious that last time the game had a stunning rendition of the National Anthem by a black woman (by Beyonce) it was overshadowed by soft-core porn (i.e. Janet's S&M nipple), and this time, the performance was beyond stellar (by Jennifer Hudson), and it was overshadowed by a flopping penis. My big question is what were the reaction of parents whose children were present? I mean, it was like 15 seconds. Did they cover their children's eyes, change the channel, sit in stunned silence, or try to explain it away? What do you say to little Jimmy (lol) or Dana that will change the fact that they just saw a man wag his privates?

Begging Your Pardon...

2009-01-31T17:27:00.003-05:00

These past two weeks have been hell...I've been trying to wrangle up money for med school. I haven't finished my FAFSA, and I just got my W2 form from work to do my taxes. Unfortunately being the spoiled dependent that I am, I don't even know what a tax form looks like, or are there multiple forms? Gah, it scares me how green I am. Not to mention first exams coming up in classes soon, and I'm building my mother's clinic's website with my dad. I am trying to come up with posts, but I haven't had the time. I think after the Superbowl I should be good, but I do want to thank the people who still check here and have asked me if I'm MIA...again. I swear I'm not. I'll be back to my random, sporadic postings by Monday.

By the way: I noticed that this is the third time I've done this. I'm horribly unorganized with this whole thing.

The Hell Date Has Tentacles...

2009-01-21T18:19:00.004-05:00

And they are reaching out to me through the phone and Facebook. I must be the the first date queen because Shaggy has called and texted me for over a week, despite my ignoring him. Just when I thought it was over, I get this lovely message in my inbox:

"I don't know what happened between me & you but oh well thanks. Life is still great for me."

What kind of fuckery is this? You must think I'm a cold-hearted witch for posting this but it's all totally anonymous. No one I know knows him or anything. We are no longer Facebook friends (that even sounds childish in typing). So, what I'm thinking is, that he searched my name just to write me this message. Why? Why? Why? Doesn't everything I'm doing or not doing say that I don't like him? Nothing since the date could be taken as the contrary. Man, he's dense.

What is he thanking me for? Putting up with his inconsiderate, David-Banner-beard-having, Kanye-plus-Neyo-minus-any-attractiveness-sized-ego-carrying self?

Life is great for me? What does that even mean? Did he think I was assuming I rocked his world, and he'd fallen in love? He's acting like I broke his heart, and he's trying to be strong and prove he's over it.

Congrats that life is great for you, really. But, I don't give a crap. I'm not lamenting on how you're doing. It was a first date, for crying out loud! Sometimes they work out, and sometimes, especially this time, they just don't. This dude is 80% cornball, and as for the other 20%, well he may want to check his boxers (or briefs?) because he is a straight up p*ssy. I'm trying to avoid the vulgarity, because I said much worse when I first read it, but this guy is just...ugh. I'm hoping this is the end of it.

Is this all Mississippi has to offer? I need to know because I have 4 years of medical school ahead of me, and I might just have to spend my summer going on a nationwide one-night-stand fest to last me throughout the drought. What's worse is today I received a scholarship that may pay for medical school (at least partially) with the exception that I must practice in MS for 5 years after. That's my whole twenties, spent in this God-forsaken state! I'm beginning to think MS is like the mafia. Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. I need the money, but I might freak the hell out if I have to stay here for that long. I'm talking Mariah-Carey-handing-out-ice-cream-in-a-tshirt-on-TRL or Amy-Winehouse-visiting-her-husband-in-jail kind of breakdown.

So Was I on BET This Weekend?

2009-01-15T23:55:00.003-05:00

It's quite possible I was. In fact, I'm still waiting for one of the vertically challenged devils to pop out at any choice moment (my shower, my morning stretch, etc.) and tell me I was on that God-awful BET show Hell Date. (Not that I watch it or anything...)

Jacked from The Urban Spin

I've had plenty of dates, but I guess I'll say I've been spoiled. I always have had the luck of choosing to share my time with guys who, despite their character outside the context of the date, have always managed to show me a relatively good time. I can't think of any that made me want to call it a day on single life and wrap my lips around a gun, at least.

But this one...whooo man, this one was, for me, the worst. The Best of the Worst, and yes, it deserved capitalization.

I've toyed all week with the thought of putting this up. I mean, he might visit my blog; it was on my facebook page, and he was ALL into my facebook page. But then I remember that: 1) I don't get that many visitors and 2) I don't really give a shit. Maybe he'll learn something...?

I understand that this is completely passive aggressive, and I probably should have just gotten up and walked out on the date. I think in some sick way, I wanted to go ahead and have the experience. Besides, no matter how hard I try to leave my "nice girl" past in the dust, that heifer creeps up on me now and again. And, damn it all, she was really showing out Saturday night. Or, holding it all in, whatever is appropo.

Silver lining: I learned to i.d. an asshole almost immediately. Any kind: big ones, small ones, some the size of your head...I just have to stick to my gut instead of listening to my mother's "don't judge a book because the glass is half full when a stitch in time saves a penny" lecture. Come to think of it, I don't think I own an ugly, but intriguing book. They're all directly proportionate.

Like any woman might, I have to give you back-story.

I had been talking to, let's call him Shaggy, on the phone for about a week (i.e. about 3 phone calls of varying lengths). I'd say about 50% was genuinely interesting while the other 50% was primal chest beating and ego-stroking.

I've never, ever had a guy ask: Don't you remember what I was wearing?* How many times (not partners) have you had sex? Are you as excited about our date as me?

Talk about his best friend (who is a girl) incessantly. (Not ok, by the way. There's a difference between funny anecdotes and just flat out sounding obsessed/in love.)

*As far as the "what I was wearing" thing...I didn't remember, because I had been either drunk or almost there when we met (Strike 1, right?), and he sounded genuinely hurt. He said he'd been wearing a blazer, a button-down shirt, and some jeans. Uh, want a gold star? That's the quintessential 20-something guy party uniform.

It was like talking to a stereotypical girl, and in some ways, it made me feel sorry for a lot of men. Sitting through all that chatter and insecurity for a little sex? Sheesh. I spent the better part of our conversations "mm-hmm'ing" and "mmm-mmm'ing" while trying to improve my sniper rifle skills on Left 4 Dead. Not the norm for me.

Understandably I was apprehensive about our date. I was completely on the fence. Our conversations were good but bespattered with awkward moments of just saying the absolute wrong thing (usually him). Forgive my shallowness, but he didn't even have attractiveness on his side to tip the scales. (Sorry, I can't deny that physical attraction is as big deal to me as intelligence and communication and all the rest. Not a big fan of the "grow to love"/"learn to like" thing. Hey, I'm young, I may grow out of this...or gain some desperation?)

I talked to my friends about it. I even talked to my mom, and I try to leave her out of my dating anything: if she knows, my dad knows. And that leads to "talks". *shudder* Essentially, I got the "you're too picky" speech from everyone (minus the one friend who actually saw him and advised me to run screaming in the other direction - Strike 2?), and decided to be positive and hope for the best.

My Saturday culminated into the perfect storm of events all occurring at once:

1) My bffff was having her first post-partum outing, with me, to the mall.

2) My childhood besty was having a pre-birthday meetup, with me, at the mall to pick out a present for her.

3)She was also having a sleepover (it's kitschy!) that night.
4) My cousin was in intensive care at the hospital, which I found out just before the mall outing and had to postpone a few hours.
5) My parents went out of town and my brother was at a friend's so I had to find someone to babysit my sister while on my date/at the sleepover.

Shaggy called me at the mall to choose the movie (it was too cold for anything else fun), a conversation during which I relayed all above info to him. He wanted to see Not Easily Broken, a movie easily deciphered (heh) from the previews as a Tyler Perry knockoff/Church of Latter Day Saints commercial with black people. I wanted to see something - oh, I don't know - not stupid. Essentially, he decided we were going to see this movie, the star of which has been the star of about 90% of every black movie of the past ten years, Morris Chestnut. Things were sucking before the date began.

The movie was at 7:45 and I had only just arrived to drop off my friend at home at 7:35. He called and asked should he get tickets. Duh? I asked my friend to watch my sister for the two hours I'd be gone, then after the date I'd have time to take her home to get her stuff, then across town to our aunt's house. I relayed this info to my date when I called to inform him I was on my way. He said nothing out of the way of agreement.

I get there, and he makes me stand in the cold (in my day gear, I never had time to change into warmer clothes) to meet him. Then, he proceeds to tell me that the 7:45 was sold out and he bought tickets for the 10:15 showing. Where in the hell was the disconnect about all of the obligations I'd told him about? Luckily (?), my parents called to say they'd changed their minds and would pick my sister up for me, sparing my poor friend with the newborn infant from having to stay up all night watching an overly energetic 4th grader. I had to tell one of my friends, who recently totaled her car in an accident that I couldn't be her ride to the sleepover, seeing as how I wouldn't arrive until after midnight. All he said was, "Aww, now I feel bad..." as he continued talking.

Alright, so this could drag on forever, so here are the highlights:

He took me to Pizza Hut to kill the 2 whole damn hours we had before the movie started. This is what he says as we enter:
"I have to apologize in advance if a lot of people are running up to me like they know me. I used to work here."
Unbeknownst to me, I was on a date with the Pepperoni Pimp. Anyway, no one even acknowledges Shaggy when we go inside. And then, all country-like, he yells a greeting to the guy behind the counter, who halfheartedly waves before returning to his job. Shaggy then apprehends an elderly employee he knows and asks if there's anyone in the back working that he knows. The elderly man mentions someone, and Shaggy requests that he send her out. The elderly man says, "I think she's busy [i.e., doing her job, assclown], but I'll tell her you're here." She never comes out, by the way.

His iPhone is the 3rd party of our date, on which he shows me pictures of his gorgeous best friend who his parents adore for some reason (uh, because she's your best friend?) and likes him because he doesn't give her attention like other guys do (um, what), and checks game scores. Constantly. Which I hate. You can't see the action, so why not just get the final score and record the game or watch the highlights?

I no longer get relaxers, and warned him in advance I wasn't pressing my hair for the date. He touches my hair and says, "It's not that bad." Hetouchesmyhairandsaysitsnotthatbad. Hetouchesmyhairandsaysitsnotthatbad. Hetouchesmyhairandsaysitsnotthatbad.

He complains that he's such a shopaholic, as he's always in JC Penney's.

He brags about his blazer, which he got from Sears during a clearance. While there's nothing wrong with sales, here's the kicker: he still has that outer label sewn on the sleeve, the one you're supposed to remove. And, it says Dockers. Labels aren't everything, but the stain-resistant khaki people? C'mon. I didn't even know they'd branched out to blazers.

There's just two hours of him babbling about everything and nothing, and then he says "Wow, that sure went by fast." I mean, really dude...if you're gonna talk that damn much, get a blog. Between the cold, the crowd (yes, crowd, for a frickin' movie by Tyler D. Jakes-Perry), and the "conversation" (a word I'll use loosely), I just wanted to rip open my shirt and take off down the dark road, all devil-may-care-like.

To top it off, who should sit next to him in the theater, but this incredibly cute guy with the sexiest profile I've ever seen in real life who came to the movies by himself like I sometimes do and was wearing totally offbeat plaid Converse much like I might. While I was on a date. With Completely-Undeserved-Arrogance Guy. I spent the movie alternating between stealthily staring at this guy like he was my soulmate and gawking at Taraji Henson's terrifying wig.

The date ends with him telling me two things.
1) " On our next date maybe we can see that movie you wanted to see." That tells me he heard me loud and clear when I said I didn't want to watch the crap he picked. Everyone knows the one who is invited on the date picks the restaurant/movie/venue.

2)"I think our date was a success with a capital S." What what what? Who fucking says that?

To counteract any kissing action he might've taken, I went in for a hug, just to keep my face out of reach.

Then later I saw he had updated his facebook status on our date, and a friend commented, asking if he was "oiling" which for some dumb ass reason means having sex at his college.
I was squicked out beyond measure, and immediately deleted him. I have an irrational anger for people who constantly update their status, and the thought of having sex with him made my shmagina want to pucker, curl into itself, and die.

I don't ever want another date like this. I just don't get it. I'm a freaking catch, and I don't even want a boyfriend! Just a cute, funny, smart, single, healthy guy to have fun with. But, that's another post. Heaven knows this one has dragged on, much like my date did.

I Sometimes Wish I Knew NPH

2009-01-12T12:46:00.003-05:00

So I could just bask in his awesome. Not awesomeness. NPH does not require 'ness'.

NYE outfit

2009-01-05T18:52:00.007-05:00

I know Herve Leger has been done to death by the celeb crowd throughout 2007 & 8, but look at it this way: this isn't actually HL, it's BCBG. Plus, I could care less. Leggings have been shot, stabbed, burned, drowned, and run into the ground, but you still see people running around in them. Uggs, too. Besides, bandage dresses, unlike some other zombified (Just. Won't. Die!) trends, look fab, especially when you've got the body. And, pardon my ego, but I do! Lol.

I only tried on two dresses, because I already had the look in my head. The second was hot and very 90s, but I loved the first one's color, so I stuck with it.
You can't really tell in the iPhone pic, but my hair looked like this, only longer. I love Kelis!

Oh, and I just found out the guy I'd hated (translation: secretly was in love with) since I was about 8 has a kid and is getting married in July. :( That sure sucks. Not for him, obviously. But I'd always hoped I'd see him again/get together with him if I ever ended up back in my hometown, where I'll clearly be the next four years. Oh well...crumbling cookies and all that.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T19:33:00.001-05:00

This should be my resolutions post, but my only real resolution is to stop making resolutions and go out and just do things. So...yeah. I hope anyone reading this is off to do the same!

GirlCrush: Kate Winslet

2008-12-27T11:35:00.009-05:00

Kate Winslet's recent Vanity Fair shoot

When I was 11, sitting in the three-hour raw-emotions-omgz-drama!!!1!!-fest that was TITANIC, cemented four things for me.

1.) My bladder was not equipped to retain a movie-sized large Dr. Pepper for three hours. (i.e., the DVR pause button would later become my best friend)
2.) Extremely old ladies should not be left alone with expensive things. (particularly those they can lift then conceal on their person, like a ridiculously gaudy but ridiculously expensive necklace, for instance)
3.) Leonardo DiCaprio and I were totally gonna get married. (hey, as far as I know, neither of us is married yet)
4.) Kate Winslet would be my biggest girl crush ever. (well, besides Aaliyah)

11 years later, my bladder's a little bigger, I don't leave jewelry around my aunts and uncles, Leo hasn't met me yet, and Kate is still absolutely fantastic to me, in every way.

For me, "Corset" Kate is what I imagined Bridget Jones as, before the squinting/lip-pursing-session known as the movie, and with a little more attitude. She's stunning, witty, and adorable, and possesses this British charm I hear so much about but can't even begin to see in people like Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley. She's so endearingly imperfect that she could very well redefine your idea of perfect. She's like a throwback movie star from the 50s in terms of glamour and poise, yet is very much ahead of the curve with her honesty about her weight and aging. A few celebrities have followed her lead with Jenny Craig adverts and pushing wrinkle creams and hair dye, although I've never heard of Kate using hers to make a buck.

I've seen pictures of her rough days (honestly, who doesn't have rough days, though?), but they do nothing to sway my admiration of her beauty. It took me a while to realize that this was the same girl from Heavenly Creatures, another movie I'd seen when I was younger, which skeeved me out. She was great in it. I personally feel like she should be one of the highest grossing actresses, since to me she is a better actress and more believable than Cameron Diaz, Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, and even Reese Witherspoon. She certainly made The Holiday fun to watch. Meanwhile, I often fast-forward through every cringe-inducing scene Cameron Diaz would stumble through. I don't know how it is elsewhere, but here in my community she doesn't have the instant name recognition the others do. I'd love to mention her and have people name at least two movies they'd loved her in.

Kate in Heavenly Creatures

Also, she and Leonardo were my very first OTP (one true pair), and I still think they'd make a cute couple, truthfully.

Kate & Leo in TITANIC

The only thing I wish she'd change is how "American" she looks now with the tan and the blond hair. Thank goodness she hasn't lost any curves. Also, I'd kill for that Balmain dress (at least, I'm pretty sure it's Balmain, lol)!

Kate & Leo at Revolutionary Road Premiere

But, anyramble, check out Revolutionary Road, which came out yesterday. She and Leo reunite, in what some TITANIC fans wistfully call "a vague representation of what might've been, had Jack not died." Hahaha, it wasn't me who said it, I swear.

Some pics from Faded Youth Blog, via ONTD.

Look-y, Look-y, at what I Took-y!

2008-12-16T00:29:00.007-05:00

Pictures! Yay! No, I didn't travel back in time and find a memory card for my obsolete camera. I just commandeered my parents' camera. Anyway, just as I was getting going with the pics, the battery died. Niiiicccce. So, I only have one measly outfit to show you as of now. Anyway, check 'em out.

I haven't learned how to get rid of the time stamp yet. I found my new picture area, too. If I wouldn't get yelled at, I'd totally pose on the piano, but it's damn expensive, so it won't happen. I tried a bunch of angles (variations of this) when I realized I could rig up a bootleg camera tripod that would get closer and show colors and more folds.

So then I took this one to show the awesome pockets on this bad ass dress, and realized I still had on my glasses.

Hat: eBay find; dress, necklace: Express; earrings: ?; bracelet: Icing (necklace, actually); tights: Hue; ankle boots: BCBGirls

I thought this one, sans glasses, was better. No makeup, as usual. I should really look into that, I think. I think I needed more light, but I couldn't get the lighting just right.

I got so many compliments on my tights, all day long, when I wore them that I am considering not wearing them as often as I'd initially planned. I really must get more Hue tights, they are ridiculously soft, warm, and comfy! I actually saw some on Beyonce on some internet scan of Seventeen magazine (had to say that, since I wouldn't be caught dead reading one, despite the habits of my 14-year old self) and began a search for some dope patterned ones and found these beauties! The suede ankle boots are my personal love. Most people hate them for making legs look stumpy. I agree that they shorten legs; I mean, look at mine in the above pictures (usually they are long, lean, and glorious! Hahaha). But, I love love love them. I think it stems from clomping around in my mother's vintage 80's lace-up ankle boots in 8th grade, when they weren't cool at all. I loved them so much she's let me have them now, but they could use a good buff/polish.

Anyone want an antique camera?

2008-12-12T00:24:00.003-05:00

Well, it's from like the first series of digital cameras, with the little screen and snail-paced shutter speed, so in its own way it's a dinosaur. I am so pissed! I've been wearing genius outfits (super inspired, even) all damn week, and I can't take any bloody pictures! I let my cousin borrow my camera, so I took out my memory card. Well I got it back, and because my short-term memory is fucking worse than Guy Pearce's in Memento, I can't find my memory card! I went out to buy another one, and not even Office Depot sold the kind of memory card I needed. I'm pretty sure they are bordering on obsolete now. I got one from The Vortex of Consumerism, better known as Wal-Mart, and it doesn't work. So, we had a snow day (!) today and I had all this time to post, and no camera. Blast! Damn it all! I had a post on velvet, but now that it's already cold, even here, it seems damn near irrelevant. But I haven't done a fashion post in sooooo loooooonnnnng! :(

All my tiny camera screen will show is "Card Error" in evil red letters, with ominous music and what I imagine is Satan's laughter booming in the background. All my technology hates me, I think. Even my computer has been flipping me "the bird" lately. Ah, well.

I Love This Quote

2008-11-30T03:11:00.001-05:00

"True love is friendship caught on fire."

--French Proverb

Since when did the French do proverbs?

I wrote this on facebook like almost 2 years ago....

2008-11-26T00:04:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's relevant still. Dating's all well and good, can really be fun, but I just get bored. So. Damn. Easily. Same sh*t, different face, really.

Ok so...now what?
Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 2:04am | Edit Note | Delete
I have just, literally, just finished a book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You", a #1 New York Times best-seller, most likely because of the name dropping the authors do (one is a writer and the other a consultant, both for the cult hit show Sex and the City, which I adore). And I feel like the people in those nowwhat.com commercials (which I still kinda don't get) where some crazy shit happens to them and all they can do is stare. That's all I can really ask: now what?

I wouldn't really say I had a revelation so much as was finally actually able to put what I knew all along into words after reading the book. I would love to say that I felt as carefree and relieved as Sex and the City character Miranda Hobbs did when she discovered the mantra-cum-title. There are no mixed messages...men sometimes don't say what they mean, but they sure as hell do what they mean. They don't wanna say it to our faces because, well most men are total pussies when it comes to dealing with women's (or anyone's for that matter) emotions. I should take pride in the idea that I am emotionally stronger or whatever...it's empowering.

But, it wasn't really empowering...in fact it was downright depressing. Despite the fact that more than half of the book was written by a man, every page shouted at me just how much men are assholes and how desperate women can be pining away after them. This book tells me not to settle, but in the same breath admits that I won't have much luck finding my dream man because all guys are fucked up in some way or another about relationships. So now what?

All of these fucked up guys exist simply because women do settle, and accept the bare minimum in a relationship. I won't say I haven't been guilty of it (even in non-romantic relationships). I am sweet to a fault...I see some good in people and then I think if I am kind enough to them and love them enough, the good will overpower the bad, love will prevail, they will change their ways, and there'll be rainbows and butterflies and sun rays and music and buck-toothed bunnies and all that other happy-go-lucky bullshit. And no matter how often I get the cold splash of reality on my face that life doesn't work that way, I keep trying. My dad once said that was arrogant of me, and I guess I agree. What do I possibly think there is about MY love that will melt cold hearts? Open minds? Create peace? Get me loved in return? You can't force anyone into loving you, but you can't love anyone into loving you either. People rarely change, but your expectations often do. (cliche enough?)

So what do I do now? I am single and young. These should be the best years of my life. I have often been accused of being way too analytical and worried about things that are irrelevant at the time or out of my control. However, I am not sure I can categorize myself as a normal 20-year old. While outwardly I may seem to have lived a sheltered/protected life, still the things I have seen and experienced have affected me somehow...it's hard to explain, and the heart wants what it wants I suppose. Pursuits of some of my peers don't seem to interest me like I worry they should. I feel like an anomaly of my generation in some ways...like a 40-year old in a 20-year old's body or something...totally misunderstood. I am rarely attracted to nor do I attract guys my own age; not that it matters because what they are usually interested in I am not willing to give.

Well whatever, I have digressed so much that I don't even remember what my point was in the first place. I have all these thoughts in my head all the time, it's incredible that I can fit anything else into it. I have yet to meet a guy who is the Trifecta: stimulating Intellectually, Physically, and Emotionally...a man to infiltrate the mind, body, and spirit. Are there any? Maybe not...not according to this book anyway: search for Mr. Right, but remember he doesn't really exist, except in rarity? Come on... But you know what? Maybe I asked for this; maybe we all did. I have always wanted a man to be truthful...maybe the truth is "the good ones" are out there, but few and far between and getting snatched up by the second, by those both deserving and undeserving. I find myself in a paradox: I don't miss my current ex-boyfriend, but I miss the idea of him. He was a good man in theory, just not in practice. He fit a checklist, but it came together in a pretty undesirable way off-paper. I don't want a boyfriend, but I do want to be wanted. Does any of this even make sense? Well, it makes sense early in the morning...maybe not later.

This Is Not One of Those Times...

2008-11-13T09:03:00.003-05:00

Where the inside counts more than the outside. I know I'm supposed to be more "Grace"-ful, but tell me how could I pass up on commenting on Chanel that looks like ass?

No, really. It looks like an ass.

Or breasts, depending on your P.O.V. (P = perversion, in this case).

The messed up thing is that the inside is incredibly adorable and kind of hi-tech looking.

Although I can't be sure of what I was expecting instead, at an $1800 price tag (regular price $2250): an anus or lactating glands, perhaps?

Hmmm...if I wasn't interested in medicine, that last comment might have sickened me.

I Try to be Like Grace Kelly...

2008-11-12T10:38:00.010-05:00

Not only am I fortunate enough to share a birthday with the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Rodin, Tamala Jones, Anne Hathaway, and Ryan Gosling, I also share it with the lovely Princess Grace of Monaco. I have always thought she was beautiful, witty, and classy, characteristics she seemed to exude in every movie she was in.

I'm sure everyone knows her life story and whatnot, so I'll spare you that. I will just say I once read a quote about how she didn't want to be a brand or an example, and as admirable as it was, she ironically became just that. Not only has the public's adoration of her found its way into the performance of some actresses, notably Gwyneth Paltrow and Mad Men's January Jones (goodness knows she aims for the poised blonde wife with a hint of iciness), even singers find themselves influenced by her (although none compare to me).

Her friendship and muse status for some of the world's best designers and photographers has made her fashion timeless.

She is also the inspiration for one of the most iconic handbags of all time, the Hermes Kelly bag.

At 22 years of age, I will make it my goal/informal birthday wish to incorporate even a modicum of "Grace" into my personality, because I admire her greatly.

Tagged: Proust Questionnaire

2008-11-06T09:10:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I tagged myself. I decided to do a Proust questionnaire after I read about this. I want to reiterate I just really don't like or respect him, and that's all I will say. Anyway the questionnaire was really fun, and made me think a lot about myself.

On Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:44:20 UTC E.Jay (21) answered the Proust Questionnaire:

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To have no purpose, as if your life isn't your own

Where would you like to live?
Anywhere I can experience all of the seasons, good weather and bad

What is your idea of earthly happiness?
To give and experience unconditional love, or hot chocolate and a good book, which is close

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Spending money, my internet addiction, my lack of action

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Any man written with a soul, one I would wish to meet, and the heroes of Greek mythology

Who are your favorite characters in history?
The Egyptians, Martin Luther King, Jr., Frederick Douglas, Richard Wright, any Harlem Renaissance author or poet

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
My mother, Josephine Baker, Grace Kelly, Mae Jemison, Barbara Jordan, Marian Anderson; basically any woman who defied odds with exceptional talent and a modicum of poise and grace

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Celie and Shug Avery in The Color Purple, Tambu and Nyasha in Nervous Conditions; women who express the duality of my own nature and a strength I hope I possess

Your favorite painter?
My little sister

Your favorite musician?
There are too many amazing people that come to mind

The quality you most admire in a man?
Compassion, although intelligence and humility are close seconds

The quality you most admire in a woman?
Compassion as well, without pity; envy is rampant lately

Your favorite virtue?
Aside from compassion, I prefer fortitude, but the other five are important as well

Your favorite occupation?
Dreaming

Who would you have liked to be?
My very best self, with no regrets

Your most marked characteristic?
My kindness, I've been told

What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty and honesty, as well as support

What is your principle defect?
My sometimes utter disregard of moderation

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
To remain stagnant, mentally or emotionally

What would you like to be?
Happy

What is your favorite color?
Whatever blue it is where sky matches the water and they look like infinity.

What is your favorite flower?
Every single one

What is your favorite bird?
The wren because it looks unassuming but has a beautiful voice

Who are your favorite prose writers?
Maybe Toni Morrison; I have read a lot of her books but I love so many authors

Who are your favorite poets?
Langston Hughes, Rudyard Kipling, Nikki Giovanni, Maya Angelou, likely more

Who are your heroes in real life?
Aside from my favorite historically relevent men, my father

Who are your favorite heroines of history?
Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, all of the typicals, more or less

What are your favorite names?
The ones said in a loving way

What is it you most dislike?
Phoniness

What historical figures do you most despise?
Any who would kill or destroy a whole race of people without remorse or regard

What event in military history do you most admire?
Any end to a war is my most preferred part of a war

What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Irresistible charm, incredible drive, and innate talent at whatever I choose

How would you like to die?
Both loved and fulfilled

What is your present state of mind?
Triumphant and seemingly invincible, pleased for my new President

What is your motto?
I'm not sure, it changes as often as I discover a new one

If you want, you can fill out your own Proust questionnaire here. They even have Marcel Proust's original answers, some of which I agreed with.

BRB...

2008-11-03T22:08:00.003-05:00

Taking part in history. :)

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, Spooky, Scary!

2008-11-02T11:54:00.001-05:00

Halloween just passed, in case you either live under a rock, are so overworked you didn't know, or just don't live in North America or the couple of other countries it's celebrated in. I was African-American Daria, which essentially means I didn't put any effort into a costume at all. Oh, sure, I dress better than her, but we're both facetious, sort of cynical, and smarter than about 90% of our peers. Plus, the glasses. Can't forget those.

My sister was to be Foxxy Cleopatra *finger snap*. You have to snap with the name, or my little sis will pester you deaf. Let the Beyonce worship continue. My brother was a teenager who doesn't give a crap about Halloween, but will totally take candy from strangers. So, he, like me, was himself.

On a totally unrelated note, here's my list of crap that frightens me/sickens me. Not surprisingly, it's, like my life, in no particular order.

1) Snakes
2) Spiders
3) Clowns, especially Tim Curry's horrifying "It" clown. Bluuuurrrrrggggh!
4) Sarah Palin's political intellect and discretion
5) John McCain's face
6) Driving over long bridges
7) HIV
8) The popularity of combining couple's names: Brangelina, Bennifer, Nariah, Bey-Z
9) The use of text speak in regular conversation
10) Cancer
11) Other people's feet
12) Joe Biden's hair
13) Tara Reid's body
14) The accumulated success of Soulja Boy, T-Pain, Rihanna, Cassie, etc.

This is my half-assed post (well, quarter-assed, my other posts are half-assed) b/c I am recovering from an ear infection in each ear and a majorly awful sinus infection. Two antibiotic shots in my arms? Yeesh.

Reason #832473804738 Why I'm Still A Linkin Park Fan...

2008-10-22T13:01:00.002-04:00

Mike Shinoda "Baracks" my socks...that and I'm pretty much a sucker for anything with puppets.

Birthday List - Revisited

2008-10-20T12:09:00.003-04:00

I have been a not-so-busy-but-very-lazy girl! I've been trying to work up the nerve to do another fashion post. This is far from a fashion blog of late, but until I get my hair done (Friday, thank heavens) I refuse to take pictures of myself. I am elusive, perhaps even mythical. Just call me the Fashionable Snowgirl...or Hot Dress Monster. I also look like I've been testing the merits of inserting steel knives in electrical outlets. Anygarbage, I decided to pass the time catching all (one) of you up on my Bucket List - if turning 22 is like dying, that is.

Take a fun trip outside of the state, and spend no more than 8 hours each day in wherever I am sleeping. --I am actually going to Atlanta this weekend, so I hope that it'll be fun! I've been to ATL more times than I can count, but never of drinking/clubbing age, so I have my fingers crossed.

Find 5 new things to do in my city. --I did a photoshoot at this poetry club/art house. That's one. But, I swear to God, there is nothing to do here! I might just count buying Rock Band 2.

Take care not to neglect my friends. --Ha ha ha, I am trying not to, but I am a bit of a loner. Luckily my friends seem to understand.

Finish an article of clothing from scratch. --I have one in the works, a metallic high-waist skirt, but I might scrap it in favor of a dress.

Finish writing a chapter-sectioned story. --Yeah. I am no further than I was last month. But I started 2 more stories...damn you, ADHD!

Meet 5 new people. --I met one who is new in town at the photoshoot. The neglecting person that I am, I have yet to hang out with her. LOL

Get to 100 posts on my blog. --Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Act on impulse rather than second guess myself. --Oh, this is definitely happening. No sarcasm this time.

Smile even when I am all alone. --Just last night, I held an impromptu fashion show in my room. Music: Sam Sparro, Madonna, N*E*R*D. Audience: my stuffed animals and the webcam on my laptop that I always assume is on, watching me. *shudder* Damn technology.

Reconnect with at least 5 old friends. --I reconnected with three, at a fashion show. No, not the stuffed animals in my room, but a geniune fashion show with "celebrity" entertainment and all. Celebrity meaning they were locals who were on 106 & Park one time, which I don't even watch.

Be in Las Vegas on or near my birthday. --Ok, so that shit won't happen, but I just might be paying for a trip to Paris in the spring on or near my birthday. I've never been, but Paris kicks Vegas ass all day long!

Try out for something I normally wouldn't. --The photoshoot was something, but I'm looking for more opportunities.

Finish my medical school secondary applications. --Given my rejections...I may have to change this to "Study for the MCAT again".

Vote. --Duh, duh duh!

Save at least $1000 dollars between now and then. --This one I did accomplish, so scratch it off and score one for me!

Make two more stock investments. --I am going to wait until the last possible minute on this one, maybe wait on some birthday money I won't miss.

Read a classic book. --I have been reading A Confederacy of Dunces, which is essentially how I feel about most of the public anyway.

Sarah Palin is like the Rihanna of Politics

2008-10-07T00:15:00.003-04:00

Don't frown at the title. I am already ashamed of myself that I thought it in the first place, but there it is. It came to me, while watching the vice Presidential debate the other night. I sat there, wondering why the focus group's positivity towards Sarah Palin would increase with every cutesy thing she did. I kept thinking, "Do they even hear the words coming from her mouth? She's downright annoying!" (Not to say Joe Biden can't cause a nose-scrunch too, but if you want Barack Obama as your Prez, what can you do?) I swore to myself to stop being so hard on Rihanna, but I genuinely dislike her, which is confusing since I don't know her. I guess the same could be said about Sarah Palin. Whatever. I won't apologize, but at least let me try to explain.

1. Both view themselves as "outsiders" and beat that idea like a dead horse, using a specific word.
Seriously. Try not to play any drinking games where you take a shot per usage of the word "maverick" (Sarah Palin) or "edgy" (Rihanna). It's likely you would die of alcohol poisoning. Rihanna couldn't "edge" her way out of a paper bag. Being a "tomboy" doesn't make you different. Tons of hot girls play that role because guys like it, I'm told. Having grown up as a tomboy myself, I was always awkward around boys (b/c I was attracted to them) and girls (b/c I wasn't like them) and always defending myself against being a lesbian (which I have never been). Mixing prints or black and brown or metallics or wearing white after Labor Day isn't edgy either. Some of us have been doing that for ages. Edgy is not just style/fashion, it's an attitude that she just lacks. Unlike Rihanna, Sarah Palin is actually what she claims in some ways. To be a maverick is to do what you think is right, despite being alone in that idea. I don't deny that she thinks she is right in all of her views, but that doesn't make some of them any less stupid. Ok, not stupid: inane? Idiotic? Imbecilic? Global warming must be a figment of our imagination. Damn the wildlife of Alaska, right? Let's take away a woman's right to choose, even if the baby would be a product of rape or incest, or the birthing process could kill her. Ridiculous.

2. Both were initially endorsed as credible by some old guy with dollar signs in his eyes, who had known them for all of a week.
Of course, McCain's dollar signs are accompanied with visions of himself swearing in as President. Jay-Z was already President at Def Jam, if I remember correctly. Details are fuzzy. Both of these men are incredibly business minded and have been "in the game" for years. I'm sure for both that it has gotten to the point where they can spot a cash-cow/gimmick right away. McCain knew that having a woman in the White House is as much strived for by the minorities as have a Black man. Plus, the other gender seems much more encompassing than a minority race. Jay-Z knew that his girlfriend (now wife) was getting pretty old in pop star years (they are like Playboy Bunny years, actually) and he wanted to have a hand in her replacement. Plus, how many women can match up to Beyonce? Not very many. Rihanna, with her boyish body and short hair, seems less threatening than Beyonce, I imagine, even with her green eyes and cringe-inducing speaking voice. Sarah Palin has a cringe-inducing speaking voice as well. Yet, here we are. Well played, gentlemen. Well played.

3. Both are arguably hot.
I must admit, both can be ridiculously attractive at some moments, and just average at others. Some call Sarah Palin a "milf"/photoshop her head onto bikini photos and some call Rihanna "the current hottest chick in the game"/photoshop her nude, while others think Sarah Palin looks like the bitchy mom at the PTA or their own mother (shudder) and that Rihanna looks like a man or a Klingon. Regardless, part of each woman's appeal/trademark is her looks.

4. While carving a niche out of practically nothing, both dodge naysayers by crying foul.
Any disdain shown towards Sarah Palin is met with the cry of "sexism". Any shown towards Rihanna is met with the phrase "jealous hater" or the term "Beyonce stan". We live in a world where people (myself included) have blogs, YouTube channels, and/or Facebook and MySpace pages and say snarky, bitchy things so much that very little is even taken as genuine criticism anymore. Since anyone can say anything (that pesky freedom of speech), there are those people whose criticism does fall under the category of envy, but there are many more of us who feel we have legitimate reasons for our dislike. But, their avid supporters can't hear anything through the white noise of their assumptions of our insecurities.

4. Both began more or less under the radar before suddenly rocketing into such success that it leaves all of us who don't see their appeal scratching our heads.
I don't really have to clarify that further. Suddenly they are all over the place, being shoved down our throats from all sides.

5. Both have (currently) beaten out their main and obviously more talented "competitor" (so to speak) in their specific fields.
I think it's pretty clear that I am referring to Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. Both women are quite adept at their professions, at least in comparison to the current popular choice. All four women have their faults to a point; you might consider Palin and Rihanna to be Pepsi, and Beyonce and Clinton to be Coca-Cola. One type may have been around longer, but the other type has more flash and public appeal. Some prefer one over the other in taste tests and some just hate both drinks. Coca-Cola is sticking with their tried-and-true image while Pepsi has enlisted the help of celebrities to sell their wares (am I still talking about sodas?).* Whatever the case, Palin and Rihanna are preferred 3 out of 5 over Clinton and Beyonce. I mean, duh, Palin's currently closer to the White House than Clinton, and Rihanna's reigning chart queen over Beyonce.

6. Both are popular/famous for nearly anything but what their career title directly insinuates.
Palin is immediately recognized by her Tina Fey glasses, Hockey Mom bangs, and mandarin-collared, brightly colored suits. Rihanna is immediately recognized by her Prince, Kelis, or Posh Spice-inspired hairdo, Fefe Dobson wardrobe, and her misguided, eventually regrettable tattoos. Palin has yet to be complimented by the press for her political prowess, experience, or insight. Rihanna has yet to be praised for her singing or performing skills. This is the case even with fans of either, who admit that Palin has questionable political knowledge/Rihanna has questionable singing talent. Why is that so? My theory is that the public, so sick of having images in mind of women that were unappealing or unattainable, decided to support women so ridiculously flawed at their chosen careers that they would be instantly likeable and/or relatable.

Well, I neither like nor relate to either. I am at present so disillusioned with the buying and voting public - in many ways besides this - that were it not for my desire to be updated on the current events of my universe, I would limit myself from contact with all this bullshit posthaste. I can only hope that trying to create change in my own life will create some sort of trickle-down/out/around effect that will affect change all around me. I have gone on long enough, so I will leave you with a few videos to illustrate my points and these suggestions:

Vote for Barack Obama November 4th, and buy the albums of someone with actual talent. One way or another, it's time for change, people.

Hero Gone Bad

Please Don't Pon De Replay

Disturb-ya at the VMAs

From Queerty.com

Bush Doctrine? What's That?

What's the difference between a funny joke and an insult? Sarah Palin

Palin v. Biden Parody
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/vp-debate-open-palin-biden/727421/

Palin with Katie Couric Parody
http://www.hulu.com/watch/36863/saturday-night-live-couric--palin-open

Palin and Clinton Announcement
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/

*For the record, Coke kicks Pepsi's ass all over the playground, unless it's Wild Cherry Pepsi.

Relenting

2008-10-02T09:36:00.006-04:00

Ok, ok, although I don't think he's asked for "less vocoder" on a song since his first platinum single, I dislike T-Pain a little less with this video.

Well, like 1.5% less, he's still an embarrassment. (Disregard the free promotion)

I Don't Have The Strength...

2008-10-01T19:14:00.004-04:00

I've been doing my workout thing for the past two weeks in addition to my job, so I can barely lift my arms over my head much less focus my mind to the point it needs to fathom why this really is in existence. (seen @ Crunk & Disorderly)

So, apparently Eb the Celeb thought I was just joshing about Chris Brown's new underwear line, Big Headed. To be honest, I actually thought the whole thing was just conceptual, hypothetical, theoretical, debatable even (much like his singing ability). I was not prepared for the full-on website, complete with models, shopping carts, and MUZAK. To his credit, Breezy's face, body, and music are nowhere to be found on the site (thank God), so despite its vainglorious and (rumored) appropriate name, it appears to be no homage to his person.

My need to bitch and critique plus my desire to observe all things fashion apparently outweigh my (dearly missed) lack of interest in Chris Brown and his activities. I have to say something; my very nature wills it to be so. :-/ I will just say these things, and then no more, maybe.

Why are the girl's boxers constantly referred to as "Boxahs"? It makes my face hurt, for some reason.
These male models seem to surpass my douche tolerance level.
Imagine my horror/delight (?) in the (men's) "Breakaway Boxers" section when the models in the videos actually BROKE AWAY THEIR BOXERS. Oh, how I gasped/laughed. I was willing it to be so ("break 'em away, break 'em away, do it!"), and...there it was.
If you decide to take a look-see, keep an eye out (in the men's section) for gems like the "Condom Pocket Boxer" (convenient), "Danger - Fire Hose" (O_o), "Speed Limit: 69" (WUT), and my personal favorite: "Safety First - Clean Up Spills".
The girls modeling the bottoms are not wearing any tops. Just hands and tan lines. Why?
The "Peek A Boo Sports Bra" (there are so many jokes there) looks completely useless at doing anything but being removed by your guy...single/sexless girls need not buy.
I get the heebie-jeebies at the idea of thinking about Chris Brown when I put on my thong, or that Chris Brown had anything to do with the thong I would be wearing. That may be the grossest sentence I've typed on this blog. Trey Songz on the other hand...

Yeah, on that note...I am done. There is so much there, but I think I'll leave that to the hardcore Chris Brown fans/anti-fans to decipher.

Down the Rabbit Hole...

2008-09-26T01:45:00.005-04:00

I started this post over a month ago, but abandoned it midway through. I rethought it, because it seemed kind of mean...

Eh, whatever. I'll be vague.

8/8/08
Instead of ending up in the tangible manifestation of an acid trip called Wonderland, though, I ended up in the land of the Vain & Vapid, girls who appear to be uniform in personality although they look nothing alike.

Seriously. My day was filled with the type of shallowness that can't be taught in pageant/modeling classes, imitated from movies like Mean Girls, or gleaned from hanging around (some?) celebrities. This has to be congenital. I mean, there's no way anyone can act like what I've seen here today without having honed such a singular dimension to a gleaming sharpness. And, this is from a female who has Vogues scattered across her floor, owns Sex and the City DVDs, and gabs about fashion with the passion of a political pundit covering the 2008 election. I'm not exactly (insert deep musician here), reading (insert famous Russian author) and quoting (insert famous philosopher) while donating my time to actively (stop female genital mutilation/fight genocide in Darfur/build homes in war-torn countries/etc).* As a matter of fact, just last week I said Toni Morrison wrote The Color Purple (BLASPHEMY!) when it was Alice Walker (DUH).

We all have our "blond moments" (no offense to blondes, since every hair color/race has its assclowns). However, I have never met anyone I would want to call a bubble-head before now. I can't let this happen again. My very life (and the bloodlessness of any nearby blunt objects) depends on it. Granted, the shallow never actually recognize themselves as such - perhaps this means that the fact that I question my superficiality nullifies it (in that way where crazy people never think they are crazy, because they are too busy being crazy, so if you wonder if you are crazy you couldn't possibly be crazy - ok shutting up now...)? Here are some things I have to share for anyone not questioning their possible lack of depth after observing the Vain & Vapid:

Oil build-up on your make-up during the day should not be discussed with the same graveness and sobriety as the events of 9/11, the "war on terror", or the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
Hair weave does not deserve the same careful planning, funding, and deliberation as plans for universal healthcare.
No, I don't think wearing a size 4 now instead of a 2 means it is time for you to hit the gym. If 5 pounds were all it took to get you to the size 4, you weren't really a 2 to begin with. And, that's okay.
It's not all right to hang out with "ugly girls" because they make you feel more secure.
No, I have never skipped class because my hair was "busted".
Facebook/Myspace are not as reputable as/equivalent to CNN.com, or even yahoo.com.
Facebook/Myspace are not really meant for you to become the Tyra Banks of your own Next Top Model competition.
Twenty-five is not fucking old.
Thirty is not fucking old.
No, I do not agree that McDonald's employees would be more pleasant if they had cuter outfits.
It's not the 50's. You aren't "too late" if you get married at 28. People live relatively longer, now that we (most of us) know smoking really is bad for us. And, you seem like the type to one day embrace a syringe full o' Botox.

*Note: I took a Russian short stories class and found it to be slightly lower on my boredom list than watching my siblings do their homework, and I do like classic novels, and participate in walks, awareness rallies, and protests, but like most middle-class "do-gooders", I have only been out of the country on vacation, not to lie down in front of tanks or bring well water to people fighting malaria. I have great respect for those who can do such serious and risky things. I am just honest about my (lack of) experience.

Remember Mondos?

2008-09-26T01:25:00.003-04:00

I just got the earwig song from the commercial trapped in my head. How, you ask? Oh, you didn't. Well, that's all right, I'll tell you anyway.

I was looking at this post on ONTD, my favored among my guilty pleasures (they are just so deliciously ee-vull! It's like Gossip Girl, manifested in a LiveJournal, about celebs and pseudo-celebs rather than upper East-siders). I am pretty sure if you could be arsed to click the link, you clicked away immediately. I understand, it's incredibly difficult to give a shit that Chris Brown is making drawz, whoop-te-do. But please note that it's 1 am here, and my facsimile of a sham of a life has a self-enforced curfew of about 10 pm (again, I live in Mississippi, yeesh, stop having me explain that) which leaves me with about 3 or four hours of fat-ass'ed (3 syllables, like Shakespeare...classy, no? Classy, yes.) laziness. That is, if I haven't collapsed into unconsciousness from the weight of my full life (sarcasm, for the new).

So, I took the time to read about Chris Brown's panty line for dudes. It's gonna be called Big-Headed. No, really.

Yeah. (Insert obligatory Rihanna forehead joke here...I'm lazy. You understand).

Anyway, after wasting 4 minutes of my life (thank God I wasn't using those to save the world), including reading comments, I laughed, and said, "Well, Chris, it's your world."

That's all it took. I uttered those three words, and launched into the Mondo jingle, full blast. I can't even believe I remember the damned thing. Be warned, this commercial sucks big hairy ones even by 90's standards, but it would come on during every episode of Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, Rugrats, All That, and any other kids show I was watching.

Oh, you'll see Jennifer Morrison (Cameron) from House in the commercial (weird!).

Mondos used to be the main drink in my lunch box, especially in summer and on field trips. The Kool-Aid juices were ten times better, but these were cheaper (why? Kool-Aid where I'm from conjured up images of you growing up poor in the hood), so these would be the ones in my mom's shopping cart on grocery days. These were the times of Ramen noodles, Vienna sausages, and fried baloney (sure, there was bologna, but we had baloney), so I didn't know to be embarrassed by them until middle school, when everyone was drinking Hi-C's (remember the Ghostbusters flavor?) and Capri Suns in the trendy silver pouches, or just buying sodas. Yeah, so I was ashamed of my Mondos, and my mom eventually stopped buying them in favor of the Capri Suns. Since I rarely look at individually packaged juices in the store, I have no idea if they are still around. Dumb as this post is, I just got a touch of nostalgia (sounds like a disease), when my cousins and I would drink 2 or 3 of one flavor each in a sitting just to get our tongues to turn purple or blue or whatever.

By the way, I always wondered if Mondo meant "world" in any language. If not, the damn catch phrase/jingle makes no sense.

Happy birthday, Ari B.! :-D

Humble Me

2008-09-09T23:47:00.000-04:00

I joke a lot, but there is nothing more sobering to me than a reversal of roles between parent and child. That happened to me today, when my dad had some (minor) surgery. My mom had to work, and I had time free, so I volunteered to be his "nurse" for the day. He was heavily sedated, so I had to help get him to awaken. The sedative the anesthesiologist administered had a lingering effect of forgetfulness, too. It was as if I were seeing my dad with a degenerative disease, like Alzheimer's. He asked me the same questions repeatedly, but I didn't mind in the least. Where my dad would often agitate me, particularly in conversation, I had the utmost patience and concern for him. I just felt this overwhelming sense of sadness for those people who experience that with their parents, their providers/caretakers, everyday. It's really weird, but when I had to help him put on his shoes, I noticed that his toenails were in serious need of grooming, and I could see blue spider veins winding up the pallid, translucent skin of his feet. That's when it dawned on me that my father is getting old. I nearly broke down in tears right there. I have seen my father as strong, aggressive, ageless, almost omnipotent, practically omniscient, from the moment I knew to appreciate him. A father of two from our church died from a heart attack about a month ago, and he wasn't even 45. My father is nearing 70. When I see him sleeping, I fight the urge to check his breathing. I am certainly grateful for every moment we have had together, but I still can't imagine life without him. I hope I won't have to anytime soon. I love him, and selfishly want him to be around for my wedding - which is so far from prospective right now - and to at least see my first (only?) child. I can only pray that the future is not too far off in another direction.

Things to Do...Before Age 22

2008-09-08T22:47:00.003-04:00

I will be 22 in less than three months. I concede that I have idealistic, romantic notions about birthdays, cities, relationships, and well, life in general, but aside from graduating college and spending time with my fabulous family, my 21st year on Earth sucked some hairy donkey balls. It amazes me how much time I have frittered away lamenting, regretting, pining, whining, vegging, and just basically being a 5'10, 140-pound waste of displaced air. One of my best friends said that if you want things to happen to you that have never happened before, your best bet is to do things you have never done. So, I will try to take on a new attitude this fall and get the fuck up and out of my rut. I've noticed I respond really well to making lists because of the giddy pride I get out of scratching tasks off as I complete them, so here goes.

I really want to:

Take a fun trip outside of the state, and spend no more than 8 hours each day in wherever I am sleeping.

Find 5 new things to do in my city.

Take care not to neglect my friends.

Finish an article of clothing from scratch.

Finish writing a chapter-sectioned story.

Meet 5 new people.

Get to 100 posts on my blog.

Act on impulse rather than second guess myself. (Kind of like George Costanza doing the opposite of what he normally did on Seinfeld)

Smile even when I am all alone.

Reconnect with at least 5 old friends.

Be in Las Vegas (if affordable :-/) on or near my birthday. (This could count as my trip!)

Try out for something I normally wouldn't.

Finish my medical school secondary applications.

Vote.

Save at least $1000 dollars between now and then. (It sort of conflicts with Vegas, hahaha, I know.)

Make two more stock investments (under advisement...the market's been kind of rough).

Read a classic book. (I suck them up like water in dry sponges.)

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I think these goals are lofty enough. In light of my new attitude, I will say (type) with confidence that I can make all of these happen.

...Huh?

2008-09-08T22:17:00.003-04:00

My guess is, I should stop being some perfection-striving basket case, and just write whatever I want. That might keep me motivated to post.

Anywhatsit, I have questions. They don't need answers or anything, in fact, knowing me, I may just answer them myself...just putting it out there in the universe.

1. Why did Christina Aguilera fashion herself into Lady Gaga/Britney Spears-the-remix at the VMAs? I thought that we Christina fans admired her for her pipes/shrieking and her need to sing live pretty much no matter what. "Keeps Getting Better" sounds like the opposite of what I saw last night...more like "Keeps Selling Out".

2. Why did anyone ever call Christina "X-tina"? I get the play on Christmas/X-mas. But if you were gonna be accurate, wouldn't it be X-ina? If it's X-Tina, we could also call Chris Brown "X Brown". And that's dumb.

3. Why am I such a huge fan of ellipses? ...I blame my Chrisboyfriend.

4. Who decided "moonmen" are a comeback for Britney Spears? Moonmen are irrelevant. That's like Kraft Foods sponsoring an alcohol intervention for Shia LaBeouf. Yeah, that didn't make much sense to me either.

5. Why on EARTH am I not at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week?

6. Why can't I be INVOLVED in Mercedes Benz Fashion Week?

7. Has no one ever shown Rihanna a YouTube video of herself performing?

8. Why is any place allowed to call itself a city and not have activities for the 18-25 age set other than bowling or gambling?

9. Doesn't it seem slightly off-putting how practically everyone in Hollywood (music, tv, film) has "done it" with each other? It's like that Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game...but with STDs and pregnancies involved.

10. What would it be like to meet my mirror opposite?

11. How did my half brother get. So. Damn. Fat?

12. What is Josh Peck doing...right this second?

13. Why is it so hard for me to finish almost everything? I swear I am so half-ass - only because I work so hard at first that I just lose momentum and concentration after a while.

14. Is it possible I have adult onset ADHD?

15. Where's the damn remote to my camera?

16. Is Keri Hilson's album going to come out? And if it ever does, will anyone care?

17. See question #16, insert "Teedra Moses".

18. Where have all the cowboys gone?

19. Why are you still reading this?

This is Ridiculous...

2008-08-12T23:59:00.005-04:00

BEIJING — A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said _ the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games... more @ huffingtonpost.com

I am actually surprised this hasn't happened in America yet, as we are so insanely appearance conscious. I don't mean Milli Vanilli or that chick from C&C Factory or whatever - that's dumb enough, but I mean kids. It's funny, I actually thought some countries were above this sort of garbage. Political ideologies aside (it's a touchy subject), I have always assumed that China was overall a country of somewhat intelligent people who do not have face and body image at the top of their lists, focusing on more fulfilling things like academic pursuits, technological advances, etc. I realize that even the most vague generalizations can surprise you. And in a 7-year old? My goodness! I certainly hope they didn't tell the poor girl she wasn't "pretty enough" to sing the anthem, although she was a good enough singer to apparently warrant lip-synching. Sad.

Goodnight, Goodnight

2008-08-09T12:17:00.002-04:00

It's a very sad thing to have to go through the grieving process of death, be it a family member, friend, significant other, or even just someone you admire. Almost to the day, it has been a whole year since my mother's family lost my cousin in a sudden, dramatic fashion, only within days of the anniversary of my grandmother's (mother's side) death. Prior to that, it had been 4 years since I had to wear black and brace myself for the always incredibly difficult open casket funeral. Most people are not as...i don't know...by it as I am. But seeing a person I once knew as animated replaced with a cold, waxy shell is a very hollowing experience. Eventually I find my way back to center, but for days, weeks, or months, I find myself questioning my own time here, pondering eternity and if there is an "end" to life after all. I try to dwell on it as little as possible because as they say, "life is for the living."

But, I said all this to say I was really shocked about Bernie Mac's death this morning. Although as a child I was never allowed to watch his stand-up (or George Carlin's, for that matter), I did anyway, relishing in the curse words and sexual innuendos I didn't totally understand. As he slowly became more accessible to the younger crowd, I grew up with him on my screens, both movie and TV. Every death is both important and sad for someone, but these celebrity deaths resonate with me because I experienced such personal emotions with them: crushes, emulation, admiration, and so on, as most Americans tend to with our informal form of royalty.

Every year seems to take with it the lives of legends or those in the making, leaving us with these sad, deformed clones of the originals, like Dane Cook, the Disney stars, just about anyone who can be referred to as a "tween," Paris of course, Lindsay, these pathetic gimmick bands, and so on. 2008 was filled with icons, and those that could have been.

Bernie Mac
George Carlin
Sydney Pollack
Bo Diddley
Bobby Fischer
Jim McKay
Heath Ledger
Yves Saint Laurent
Charlton Heston
Anthony Minghella
Brad Renfro
Estelle Getty
Dick Martin
Harvey Korman
Ola Brunkert (ABBA)
Roy Scheider
Tim Russert
Suzanne Pleshette
Allan Melvin

There were more I am sure, as well as plenty of non-celebrity people, and they will all be missed.

Black & Gold

2008-08-06T10:53:00.004-04:00

The New Orleans Saints are hosting their training camp here in my hometown, something done at least since Hurricane Katrina. So what does that mean? It means that Kim Kardashian was here for a hot second, it reminded me of Sam Sparro, and I have an excuse to post!

(This was the only version I could find that would embed from youTube, so ignore the talking at the beginning and end). Sam Sparro is an amazing singer (who got the stamp of approval from a legend, Chaka Khan) from Australia. "Black & Gold" is likely not his first single, but it was the first song I ever heard from him, and I was HOOKED! His album is filled with varied sounds but he always seems to come back to this electronic, club music that he blends with his smooth, sexy voice. I love the entire album and how open he is about his sexuality, and I am certain that with the right promotion he could reach gay icon status one day. How many openly homosexual male singers are there, after all? I think that will either be one more thing in his favor or ultimately his downfall though I am hoping for the former.

Here he is singing a cute cover of Estelle's "American Boy". I love his sweater, but then I love his style, in general! I think I will do another post on him in the coming days.

I was going to post a bunch of black and gold clothes too, but I just decided that Sam Sparro is a touch act to follow, inanimate or no. If I find any worthwhile and I am sure I will, I will post it under Black & Gold part 2.

PS. I think it's funny how I went from (briefly) mentioning football, a "man's man" activity, to an openly gay singer! :-D The things we do for a posting topic.

Update...

2008-08-05T23:16:00.003-04:00

I am working on a couple of dresses right now that I hope to have finished in the next 2 weeks (can you tell I am a novice seamstress?) and I really wanted to show off my geeky new glasses, but I cannot find my camera anywhere. I was so stressed trying to prepare for my ANTM audition that I have no idea where I put it and haven't seen it since then. As soon as I find it, I will post! Or if I find something else to post, then erm, I will post that :-)

August is Here...(Ramble, Ramble)

2008-08-01T17:02:00.006-04:00

And I can't be more disappointed. August means the start of another school year and the countdown to my Nov. birthday. I gotta admit, I really expected something kind of amazing to happen to me this summer. Granted, I moved back home, but that was a really big deal. I know I probably read far too much fiction, but I feel like there is some magical, chemical reaction that occurs when you combine a really hopeful girl with a big change.

But really, playing devil's advocate, what did I really expect? I do, after all, live in West Bumblef*ck City, MS (the whole state's a bumblef*ck to be honest, and I say that in the most lovingly loyal way). I am living with my parents, working a job that is well, kinda boring, to be honest (though it is for a really good cause), and making my own clothes, constantly pining for glamour, love, excitement, travel - all things hardly associated with being an aspiring doctor in MS.

But what other choice do I have? I have just enough money in the bank to live somewhere rent-free, i.e. my childhood home. Even though I am saving money with the intent of venturing out on my own, I have no idea how long that will take. I may not get into any med school in the coming year, but right now my best bet is the one down the street from my parents' house...which will trap me here a minimum of another four years.

Le sigh.

I tried out for America's Next Top Model this summer too, with this idealistic hope that if I at least went in there and was confident, was myself, they might see in me that "thing" I have always hoped was there but was never quite certain of. You know, the "thing" that would make everything worthwhile, that would put me up there with Tyra and Heidi and Iman and Giselle, saying "I used to be teased about my height/thinness/breasts/legs, but look at me now!" And, perhaps that is incredibly shallow.

Maybe it is really sad to want that kind of validation, especially in a business that tears people down so frequently. For some strange reason, I feel I can handle it. For my entire life I have dealt with people who would be so cruel they would try (and often succeed) at reducing me to tears, so why not get paid major bucks for it, be in and around the fashion I love so much, and let other little girls see: "She's not conventionally pretty, but she is unique and beautiful...maybe I am too." I am a product of my environment in some ways. For as much as I enjoy being different and like to think of myself as deep or introspective or whatever (haha, just like that), part of me wants to be admired, emulated, enjoyed, and celebrated by people who have no need to, who have no reason to or connection to me outside of being human just like me. Beauty is fleeting, and fame is even more difficult to keep, but something in me keeps drawing me there.

This fork in the road I stand before...how can two paths be so different? To be honest I almost feel kind of ashamed for wanting to model. My parents are such distinguished intellectuals and I have been such the academic achiever it feels like a slap in the face to want to do anything outside of the cookie cutter realm of doctor-lawyer-teacher-scientist. Whenever any adult (defined as: older than me) asks me what I am going to do, I never say, "Well I feel equally pulled towards being a doctor and a model." I always say, "I am trying to get into medical school." Not that I am not actively trying to go, but I find it ironic since I usually say that for appearance's sake, rather than the truth, which is that I am trying to move forward in both to see which one will tip the scales in or out of its favor. The thing is, both require a lot of time and effort, and I worry that if I dedicate myself solely to one, I might be miserable, realize I made the wrong decision, and too much time may have passed for me to go back and try the other.

It's funny (not really). I used to be quite smug about 20-something rich brats trying to "find themselves" since I planned out my life at about age 10. Now I am just like them (minus the rich part) and in fact, at a disadvantage since they were never sure about their career paths in the first place. Being the perfectionist I (often) am - not counting my grammar skills now since I am rambling - my biggest fear is to make a mistake in something so crucial, and I know that's not the best way to approach the situation.

As you can see, I am not exactly at a loss for words, but to sum it up: I know exactly where I am yet I have never felt so lost in my whole life.

Hi, Haters!

2008-07-09T18:50:00.003-04:00

I'm back off hiatus :-).

Or call it my impromptu sabbatical. No apologies this time, anyone still bored enough to check here should know I may disappoint(?) again.

While I come up with more reee-diculous things to entertain(?) you with, here's what a real video should look like. No club scenes/beach scenes/dance breaks (unless that's your thing), and some great people in music. Faith restorers, even.

Six...Well, Five Days Left!

2008-05-24T23:53:00.002-04:00

But, in honor of 6 days left, watch Six and the City! And yes, I know I spelled it "six".

This is so adorable, even if slightly risque (to me) for six-year olds! Age 6 Charlotte is just how I would've imagined her!

Everyone Go See Indiana Jones!

2008-05-23T11:12:00.002-04:00

I am terrified Shia might ruin it. As much as I adore him, I love Indy more. We shall see.

Image jacked from somewhere in cyberspace.

Pump and Circumstance (The Graduation Post)

2008-05-16T17:55:00.007-04:00

I had 2 dresses. The reason is because my university is relatively large, so there is a recognition ceremony for the individual schools, and then a big ceremony with orators and such with all of the schools combined.

On the day of the recognition ceremony it rained with utter disdain for the happy occasion, complete with cold winds and chilly temperatures. So, I was incredibly out of place in this number:

Thank goodness we had to wear our robes. But I really like the bold colors of this dress. I wore it with my new favorite foot-murdering Bakers silver peep-toes. I really weighed my options between the two dresses I had regarding the above dress and the dress I am about to show. I felt much more comfortable spending graduation day (with the greeting people and dinner and all of that) under my coat in this dress. To my pleasant surprise, particularly since both were purchased for less than $20 the night before, I got lots of compliments on both.

PS, I realize this post has nothing to do with pumps, I just thought the title was really cute. :-)

Feeling Bummy...

2008-05-15T11:06:00.003-04:00

Yes, for the past week or so I have felt like a total bum. There was no time between graduation stuff and entertaining the family to post anything, so when I finally got a break from it all, it seemed much more appealing to stare into space and/or watch Family Guy and Sex and the City reruns than post. The last of the family members left on Tuesday, so my hostess duties officially ended. Well whatever...I'll catch you up:

I graduated. Yes, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology, magna cum laude. I wanted summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, but really, who doesn't?

My parents cut the umbilical cord, but I have every intention of re-entering the womb. Ahhhh, so to speak. If my Drexel dreams do not manifest themselves, then it is back to the hometown to save up some money working at my mom's practice because the cost of living "up north" is not cheap.

I helped my bff April see the light. She knows what I mean...about a certain famous person, perhaps? ;-) To be fair, thanks to her, I now hate everything about Chris Brown.

Roomie and I are talking again. But, I was still right to begin with.

I missed Kanye West, at his concert and subsequent party in DC...the guy with which I am obsessed. Ask anybody, I have this sick fetish for arrogance. I was devastated, needless to say.

I pierced my ears again. Why? Well, because I am a hard-rocking bad-ass, that's why. I wanted to get the tragus (tragi?) pierced but the place I went to didn't do it. Btw, the tragus is that, uh, flippy thing covering your ear canal. And mine too.

I think that's it. I will post pics of my grad dresses (yes, plural) later.

Desperately Seeking Grad Dress

2008-05-04T21:21:00.007-04:00

Graduation Day is looming...just 6 days away! And, like any procrastinator, I have yet to find the perfect graduation dress. I know, I know, it'll be covered by the traditional cap and gown, but why can't I look fab underneath? Plus, there's always the after parties and/or dinner with the family. I previously had a subdued black version of Marilyn Monroe's iconic Seven Year Itch dress lined up and I got it for only $5! Unfortunately, I remembered with dismay that graduation is OUTUSIDE in DAYLIGHT...duh. So, I had been combing the thrift shops fruitlessly for another gem of that caliber when I thought it would be fun to just try on the really expensive dresses in Macy's to make myself feel better. HUUUUGE mistake. I found my dream dress.

A BCBG Max Azria beauty in its simplicity. It's so virginal and looked fantastic on my skin (and no, I am no longer one of those girls who feel depressed trying on clothes because I seem to pick things that look great on me...finally!) while actually fitting in the boob area. This surly (and odd-looking, I might add) model does this dress no justice. I fell in love in the fluorescent-lit dressing room. Unfortunately for me, it costs $388 dollars. Now in the grand scheme of designer dresses, I know that's chump change...but it broke my heart in two.

And now, I have been bitten by the designer bug and further hurt my own feelings by visiting Bluefly.com, love of my pampered-undergrad life, bane of my broke-graduate existence. All of these lovely dresses fit my grad-dress criteria, including being statement-making (white does that, right?), sleeveless or strapless, and above the knee. I sure wish I had money. Sigh.

A.B.S. ivory printed crepe belted dress, $155.55
This one's kind of plain-colored but I love the pattern and would wear some loud shoes with it!

A.B.S. ivory tiered silk organza mini dress, 178.50
Ok, so I kinda have a thing for white/off-white dresses. They look so sweet to me!

A.B.S. silver metallic brocade bubble mini dress, $155.55
I absolutely adore brocade! Especially shoes! But, I have a hard time finding dresses that don't look like tablecloths. This one certainly doesn't :-)

BCBG Max Azria ginger geometric jersey halter, price not available but I'm sure it's out of range!
This one is pretty casual, but I love that pattern.

BCBG Max Azria off-white dotted tulle strapless dress, $142.80
I like how this dress is borderline teen prom; it just makes it more endearing.

BCBG Max Azria (again) off-white embroidered mesh strapless dress, $193.80
This one makes me think of Mississippi barn dances that out-of-staters always imagine we have. Backwards as it seems, that is it's appeal.

Betsey Johnson blush ombre taffeta bow dress, $303.45
This is my second favorite of the bunch. I love Betsey Johnson dresses, and the colors make it seem very 3-D. I think you will also notice the running theme of bows blatantly expressed here.

Cynthia Steffe berry floral cotton halter, $168.30
Tied with the above dress for number two! This dress is spring-y and super-sweet.

Nicole Miller aqua swirl print silk chiffon dress, $158.10
I love the blue and the sweetheart neckline.

Nicole Miller daffodil silk chiffon satin trim v-neck dress, $158.10
I officially love every dress I have ever seen Nicole Miller create in gold. They never feel...overdone or tacky.

Nicole Miller olive "Maya oh Maya" silk ruched dress, price not available
This is my favorite one, so it's probably best that it wasn't available on the site, that would just further the torture. I love my figure and am not the biggest cleavage fan (since I have it in most everything, why not?), so I think this would be perfect.

Shoshanna fuchsia herringbone silk v-neck dress, $173.40
I am in love with the color of course. I could stand out anywhere in this!

Tufi Duek lavender jersey "Sthella" v-neck dress, $198.90
This color...is fab!

Vivienne Tam ivory silk lace detail strapless dress, $331.50
I love the mix of gothic lace and innocent white. This dress is fantastic! I could see height-defying bright-colored stilettos with this.

Vivienne Tam silver silk jersey sequin empire dress, $237.15
Absolutely adorable and I am metallic-obsessed (about 2 years too late) right now.

So...does anyone know of some similar looking dresses a cheapie like me could purchase, perchance?

Guilty Pleasures (Music edition)

2008-05-03T01:50:00.004-04:00

I love Robyn. Ever since "Show Me Love" back in like '98 or whatever...I can't explain it. She's just fantastic. She has that tinny, pop-y voice, but wonderfully enough, neither her singing nor her songs annoy me, or do my head in, so to speak (I love the way people talk overseas!). She fell off fast in the fickle US market, but Europe knows her...mostly...I think. I love that she writes and produces too. She strikes me as really quirky and kind of strange, but that only makes me like her more. Take a look @ my blogroll..."Konichiwa Bitches" (I thought "beeches" would be much less offensive, haha) is my number 2 favorite song of hers. This is my number one.

"Who's That Girl" has great and simple lyrics, and...at the risk of sounding like a pothead...it speaks to me, man. Everything she says in the song is how I feel, but I guess music's supposed to do that. Plus I love the music. Electro-pop has always been a guilty pleasure of mine - but just like chopped and screwed music - it has to be "done right" and Robyn does it right.

Got My Computer Back!

2008-05-02T17:29:00.002-04:00

It's a miracle! I am so glad to have it back, I have been on it for the past 10 hours or so, like a maniac. My eyes hurt and I have probably given myself eye cancer, haha. No matter, I am so happy! I felt so "uninspired" in the library haha...not that what I do really requires that much thought, huh? Anyway, like I said, my eyes hurt bad...I was eBay shopping and organizing my music. I will definitely post in the next 24 hours. Glad to be back! :-D

Not My Fault, I Swear!

2008-04-27T10:08:00.002-04:00

Ok, so maybe the title is a little deceiving since I have been AWOL for a week. My computer broke, (again, damn you PCs! Macs are the best!) so I have to send it in for service. The battery won't charge anymore, so it just died on me yesterday. I have no computer, but I am in the process of getting a library card so I can access internet there. Sure, Roomie's got internet and 2 computers at that, but I have no idea how accommodating she will be since she is STILL upset (it's been three weeks, I think?). Well, whatever. You know how you don't want to need anything from someone who's been holding it over your head anyway? That's how I feel. I'd rather figure it out at the library than deal with that. So for about the next week or so, all my posts will be live from the library! Yay!

You may be wondering, if my battery died yesterday, what happened Monday through Friday? Or, maybe you don't care, have stopped reading, and plan to check back when I say something worthwhile. Haha, that's fair. I was taking finals. So, now I am officially done with school, and have the ability to post every day, and of course, my computer decides to give me the finger. I will post as soon as I get a library card. Shouldn't be hard, right?

I know, famous last words. If I'm lucky, it won't turn into an "Ok, so get this" rant.

I Got Tagged

2008-04-20T10:21:00.004-04:00

Holy thunder clap, Batman! I just got awakened by the biggest crash of thunder I have heard since Hurricane Katrina hit. Of course, it's not raining that hard, thank goodness, but it set off a couple of car alarms. Oh well, perhaps nature was just waking my lazy butt up to finish all these stupid papers I have due, study for my test, and post on my blog. So...I got tagged, yay!

Ahhh, yeah...I have been waiting for this! My first tagging! Here we go:

* Create a link to the person who tagged you.

* Mention the rules for this game on your blog.

* Tell 6 unimportant things/(bad) habits (unspectacular quirks) about you.

* After answering the questions tag six other people and link them in your blog.

*Tell the people you've tagged about it in their own blogs.

I got tagged by the lovely Jovana @ Gimme A Chance, thanks, and sorry I didn't put it up sooner, I just didn't know who to tag!

1. I have my closet organized in color order. As much as I love prints and patterns, they drive me crazy because I have a hard time placing them. It goes from tops, to skirts and pants, to jumpsuits/overalls, to dresses, and then jackets and coats. My shoes are in color order too, from sandals, to flats, to pumps, to boots, to sneakers/trainers. I also have all of the hangers facing the same way. It makes others look at me funny but I am really serious about it. Luckily for me few people see my room...or my blog.

2. I like to notice patterns in numbers. For example, if a clock says 2:48 pm, I say aloud, "2 times 4 is 8," or if it says 11:12 am, I say "11 comes before 12, and it's also my birthday." I do it with dates, phone numbers, receipt totals, etc. I just try to keep it in my head...seeing as it's kind of irritating, and I am far from Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

3. I am incredibly forgetful. Since Friday, I left my wallet at a CVS (I decided to finally get one of those free discount cards, and totally left my crap on the counter), lost a parking ticket after I left the parking lot at the movies (we literally had just walked out of there and locked the door...wow), left my keys at the counter at Starbucks (when I realized it, the guy was grinning at me, holding them outward towards me when I turned around...and no, :-( he wasn't cute), and I lost my order pickup slip at Five Guys (Famous Burgers & Fries...mmmmm). It's only Sunday morning!

4. I have the entire collection of V.C. Andrews books, R.L. Stine's Fear Street books (I know there are multiple collections, and yes, I have them all), Christopher Pike's books, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, all the Harry Potter books, and all of the Georgia Nicholson books (I hear they are making a movie! I am definitely going to see it). Oh, and I had all the Babysitters Club (and Babysitter's Little Sister) books, Sweet Valley books, and Archie comics, but I gave them away at garage sales and stuff. Most kids my age at my school had a Nike habit, a jewelry habit, or a car habit that they or their parent's supported. As the biggest dork that ever lived, my parents supported my book habit, and I was the biggest book fiend ever. I would sneak them into restaurants, bathrooms...church...wow, God forgive me. Apparently, I really, really, really liked to read about white kids, hahaha. But no, the "African-American" literature books were just a little too grown-up for me when I was in middle/beginning high school. I love the atypical ones now, not about "sexing somebody's man, gettin' out the game, getting revenge, and cursing up a storm in the process, oh, and maybe finding religion." Like Zane?! If you have never heard of Zane, it's probably best you don't look her up...she traumatized my virgin ears/eyes as a freshman.

5. I was supposed to be in a movie at age 9. Hahaha, I tell everyone this. Of course, no one cares, hence its unimportance. John Grisham is a writer from Mississippi (well, he lived there a while) who wrote A Time to Kill, and they wanted a local girl to play Samuel L. Jackson's daughter in the movie version. So, my cousin and I auditioned, and I got the callbacks, all the way to the end. Apparently, my mother finds out that the daughter gets raped in the story, and she decides she "ain't havin' it" and pulls the plug on the whole thing. I think she was worried it might traumatize me, or that at 9 I wouldn't understand what was happening, I don't know. That's how I remember it, anyway. In the end, perhaps deciding Mississippi moms are too uptight (yeah right), they went with the adorable girl who played young Anna Mae Bullock (Tina Turner) in What's Love Got to Do With It? (that's a G.O.A.T. - Greatest Of All Time movie if there ever was one). Well, she mostly does Disney crap now, but she got to be on Even Stevens around the time I decided Shia LaBeouf was my supremely hilarious soulmate, so I sometimes shout to the heavens, Rae'ven Larrymore Kelly stole my career! Haha, I'm joking.

6. I can't live with people. Well, not in small spaces. I spent my first 8 years as an only child, but we lived in cramped quarters. I had to share all my stuff with my cousins and such, and when we finally moved on up (to a deee-luxe suburb in the sky), I then had a sibling (and then two siblings) to share with. As a teen, I was far removed from the family living-wise. I was relegated to the slave quarters (haha, guest room) behind the kitchen when my sister was born, and got used to - no, relished - the privacy. College living situations feel like a huge step backwards, but I am so broke. Living with roommates can really suck. I can love them to death, but I just never want to see their stupid faces every single day. No matter who I have lived with I find myself groaning in annoyance when I would see their car in the driveway or their light on. It's agonizing, especially since I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how I would live with a guy. Seriously. When I come home, I mellow out and turn off. I don't wanna be bombarded with sound and talk and anyone's f-ing aura/presence/ambiance constantly. I like quiet at home. I have never had a roommate that felt the same way. I got along with all of them but wanted their heads on stakes by the time I moved out. Not literally, of course. Does no one relax...quietly when they come home? Hands?

Ok, finally done. I am tagging people, hoping they haven't already done this.

Gloria @ <3 Life <3 Style
Aisha @ coloured bleu
Secretista
Any or all of the willing contributors (Susan, Pamela, Wendy-May!) @ R.O.F.Y.
Ana @ Snazzy Fashion
Molly @ Fashionyou

The Closet Dregs

2008-04-17T18:52:00.006-04:00

Ok guys, here's my skirt.

Honest to blog (haha, that's annoying, I know) it seems kind of anti-climatic on here. But, it's still really cute when worn, and it's got pleats. It's kind of difficult to go wrong with plaid and pleats, I think. It's my first attempt at making anything, so I'd like to think I did a decent job for a beginner. :-) Roomie's still a grouch, so I don't have a camera person. Thus, the following pics are the result of some strange maneuvers and camera angles. I did the best I could with editing.
I liked the outfit I chose, but it's hard to translate to digital, apparently. It started out looking very typical Catholic school girl at first, so I put the slinky J. Lo shirt (from freshman year, guys, she was still popular then!) on top, since I never wear it.
In my narcissism, I find it urgent to let you know my belly's not sticking out, it's just the messy folds of the white button down.
Hehe, a little over-the-top wannabe sexy, just wanted you guys to see the full outfit. Unfortunately, it's gotta be in pieces.
I have major Paris Hilton wonk-eye in the pic, but that's ok, hopefully it will go away once I graduate and am not so tired ALL OF THE TIME(!). I used the scraps of the plaid material as a headband. I plan to make a real headband out of it soon.
I threw on a cami so you guys could see the skirt a little better. I also really wanted you guys to see the Baker's shoes on feet. It was a really cute combo, overall. I just wish my stitching on the skirt was perfect :-(, but I can be a perfectionist so in reality it would probably never be right.

Hope you like it!

I Made a Skirt!

2008-04-16T19:38:00.003-04:00

It's blue/green plaid, very Gossip Girl. I will post pix tomorrow. I think I can do more, in terms of altering this skirt as well as modifying a crapload of old things in my closet. Things have been very boring lately**, so I have been sewing. Despite my grandmother teaching me the basics in elementary school, I am still very new to the whole thing, but I found a couple of sites for newbies like me. You know, those who have a million creative ideas swimming around, yet with no clue how to translate any of them to clothes.

http://www.burdastyle.com

http://www.threadbanger.com

Lazy post, yeah, but check 'em out!

**When I say boring, I of course mean that all on my horizon at the moment is a job search :-( and final exams. Plus nothing's happening socially as I got into an argument with Roomie (who doesn't?). The upshot is she was blasting music while I was taking my practice MCAT, I got an attitude, and now she has decided to give me the silent treatment. Even though she's 24... Yeah. So, essentially, I am not exactly feeling at my funniest right about now. Not with so much nonsense happening, anyway. But I promised myself to stay on top of things here, and this is one of the things I look forward to all week long. So I will have to compensate on the funny for a bit. Who knows, maybe a joke will spill out accidentally.

I Want to B*Fly!

2008-04-13T12:45:00.000-04:00

Bluefly can do no wrong in my eyes. They brought me my favorite skinny jeans (Paper Denim & Cloth), the Casadei boots of supple Italian leather for which I am willing to bleed, and endless wishlists and inspiration. Plus, I just won $30 off on their $10,000 Spring in NYC giveaway. Of course, I can't afford to buy anything, with or without the $30 off right now, but that is wholly irrelevant. I love bluefly.com! And now they give me this?

Squeeeeeeeeeeee! The only thing that ever slightly turned me off about Bluefly was that their designer pickings had the tendency to be a little on the...er...matronly side. I always manage to find things to my taste, but they have really just made my week! I know I am late posting this, as the launch date according to my facts (i.e. me checking bluefly.com practically everyday) was Wednesday, April 9th. B*Fly is obviously geared towards drawing in a younger market. The selection is not as expansive as its big sister site, but pretty great all the same. I went straight to Betsey Johnson, Joie, Ginger & Java, and Jovovich-Hawk. But they also have a lot of other designers, known for more conservative offerings, with their most youthful looks. Honestly, I can't think of a worse time to be broke, aside from needing either bail money or some operation. Sigh.

B*Fly

Spring Is Finally Here!

2008-04-12T23:59:00.005-04:00

Here is what I wore to introduce spring. It was a little chilly Friday morning, hence the trench coat I am in love with. I am so glad that it's warm! There was torrential rain on and off today, so I am already missing the weather of Friday.

Dress: Target, uber-cheap thank-you-very-much
Trench Coat: Romeo & Juliet Couture
Shoes: Nine West, a whopping 19 bucks! :-)

I got much grief for the shoes not "matching" despite the fact that was the point. I thought the whole thing meshed surprisingly well and looked very simple. Lots of (well, four) pics because for once I didn't have to take my own on the stupid stairs with the crap lighting. Roomie was very cooperative...must be spring fever :-). I was so taken by the weather myself, that we did a bunch of stuff outside Friday that we never do, like exercise, and had so. Much. Fun. I know I suck at blogging regularly - I take more commercial breaks than an episode of Chappelle's Show, and I am sorry for it. I just can't stop procrastinating! I keep making plans to do better, but then I put them off. Typical.

Guilty Pleasures (TV edition)

2008-04-08T20:09:00.004-04:00

For the past year or so, I have been stuck on this show called Greek on ABC Family. I hate ABC Family (like many other things, hahaha...notice a pattern?). I think it stems from their destruction of pretty decent movies with terrible sequels, or ABC Family originals, like Au Pair II (why?), The Cutting Edge 2 and 3, and my (least) favorite, Bring it On...Again...One More Time...For the Cheap Seats in the Back...WE LOVE TO CHEER!...Have We Beaten You Over the Head with This Concept Yet?...No?...Ok, One More Sequel...Again. It's like American Pie with pom poms - it just. Won't. Die. But, I digress.

Greek is a pretty solid show. Trust me, it brings the cheese, but in the best way possible. I didn't go to a state school, or any place that wasn't predominantly black, so I can't vouch for the realism in the show. Personally, I don't think college was/is like this show for most people, but who the hell cares? If anything, I could do with less reality TV! I was sold on it right away when they posted the first episode free on iTunes...I pretty much comb iTunes for free items I would never know about otherwise (since they tricked me out of my music! I'm sure I will rant on it at some time, knowing me).

If you find you care (even just a little) or are just totally looking for something to do, check out the full online episodes. It's got love triangles, siblings, fights, frat parties, hangout spots, pranks, even a scripture-spouting roommate, and a little drama thrown in for good measure: basically everything my college experience was LACKING (minus the scripture-spouting roommate, haha). So I am definitely glad to get it smeared on extra thick in a weekly TV show. Hey, these are supposed to be the best years of my life, after all!

Oh, and I must say, I am quite surprised how many people really like that scarf look I hate. I think it is just a factor of where I live. Here in DC at Howard U, also known as *insert eye roll/groan here* the "HBCU fashion mecca", they are as frequently displayed as...oh, I don't know...Uggs w/ tucked jeans or mini-skirts in SoCal? Or, Lindsay Lohan in leggings? Are those examples that make you cringe, at all? These particular scarves have replaced the rockstar denim chain on campus as the new irritating must-have accessory of choice, and I guess I am just tired of having my eyes assaulted by this look. Ugh. Ok, rant over. It looks great on some people (certainly the people commenting whose blogs I have visited and am super-envious of their superior fashion sense), but it's just so...overdone in DC. At Howard U. To me. Ok, really - rant over.

I'm Amused That...

2008-04-08T20:03:00.002-04:00

...the guy giving the persuasive speech on the legalization of prostitution in my communications class looked and sounded exactly like Ice T...

No Scarf Ace

2008-04-05T21:34:00.036-04:00

In considering myself an open-minded person, there are very, very few trends that I absolutely refuse to never accept, no matter how popular, "scene", even out of style, or "chic". Aside from skull print anything, Rihanna, T-Pain, ponchos, and culottes, the only other thing I really dislike as a trend is the bulky plaid/houndstooth/skull scarf wrapped around one's neck like this:

Blech...especially the fringe ones with the ends hanging down. I am not particularly interested in looking like a hipster cowboy, thank-you-very-much. Really, anyone who knows me is aware that due to my likely hypochondriacal self-diagnosis of pnigophobia (fear of choking, go figure) I am averse to most things that wrap around my neck, particularly turtlenecks. However, I still have managed to acquire a love for spring scarves, and attempting to wear them in pretty much anyway but at my neck (or at least very loosely). So, I guess you could say I am relatively new to the allure of scarves. As my title states, I don't know scarves, but I know what I like. And, if I wasn't such a cheapskate/broke college student, I would buy some of these lovely creations rather than find treasures in the dollar bins at thrift stores.

Target

l-r: Oblong Stripe Pastel, $8.99, Pink Floral Multiblock, $8.99, Pink Rain Dot, $6.99, All: Xhilaration head scarves, but of course, wear them anyway you would choose!

American Eagle

Both: Gingham Scarves, black and pink, $19.50 each

Gap

l-r: Gray Gradient scarf, $29.50, Lava stone Orange Sun-bleached Stripe Scarf, $19.50

Anthropologie

l-r: Scattered Breeze Scarf, $58, Climbing Roses Scarf, $88, Incandescent Scarf, $68, last two: Ribcandy Scarf, pink and yellow, $42 each

bluefly.com

l-r: DVF "Bee" Scarf, $33.15 (sale ends 4/7), DVF "Ladybug" Scarf, $33.15 (sale ends 4/7), Versace Tulip and Circle print silk Scarf, $220, Viktor & Rolf Ivory Butterfly Bird Print silk jersey Scarf, $114

net-a-porter.com

l-r: Alexander McQueen Butterfly print Scarf, $295, Matthew Williamson Butterfly silk Scarf, $230, Matthew Williamson Flame-edged silk Scarf, $415, Missoni Starburst silk Scarf, $385

These scarves are all made of light materials: I checked. I love bright colors, obviously, because I like the idea of having accessories that stand out. However, basic can be good too. Aside from as a waist cincher, headband, typical neck adornment, and classic purse accent, I like to wear my scarves in two other ways that may need to be seen to be...understood?

I like it as an ankle accent (not that I would expect this to catch on, but I like it) for really girly dresses.

I also like to use it as a back-sessory and tie it into my sleeveless shirts and make it halter-top style.

I tried to dress it up a little, but I couldn't really find the energy: I have had approximately 5 hours of sleep in a 48 hr period. Hey, I know my priorities! :-) Oh, and thanks to everyone who has been coming to the blog, as well as those who wished me well on my exam! I really appreciate it.

Hold on for One More Day...

2008-04-04T19:17:00.001-04:00

Ok, you know I am stressed if I am quoting Wilson Phillips. Had a big test yesterday, today, and the MCATs are tomorrow. I will be back to posting tomorrow, everyone!

Original Prankster

2008-04-01T14:03:00.004-04:00

Happy April Fools' Day! I gave up on the 4/1 jokes after high school, but I remember my favorites. In my finale joke, my pièce de résistance, I woke up extra early (which I never do) and hid under my parents' bed while cooling my hand in ice. When my parents' alarm went off and my mom put her legs down on the floor, I grabbed one of her ankles with my cold hand. She didn't take it well, suffice to say. She was a great sport after the fact and even got me back too (it's embarrassing, don't know if I will divulge it), but I could have given her a heart attack, or something.

I once put a real-looking lizard (that I bought in the Bahamas) in my Open Doors teacher's chair in 8th grade, or 7th. She screamed, hopped around and kicked it to the floor. Surprisingly, no one ratted me out.

I drew male genitalia on my older brother's face while he slept, and another year (I was in 3rd grade, I think), I put hot sauce on his fingers and tickled his nose with a pipe cleaner so he would dig in it. That produced funny yet possibly blinding results because he didn't feel it burning right away...and he rubbed the sleep from his eyes when he started awake.

That same year as the hot sauce thing (that happened during the day, this next one happened that morning) I put one of my brother's dirty socks in my cousin's mouth while she slept (hey, they read my diary together, so it's not like they didn't have it coming!). When she awakened (she did notice she was breathing funny, after all), she pulled it out, let out a howl, and put about half a tube of toothpaste in her mouth.

And, yes I have done the saran wrap on the toilet bowl, swapping sugar for salt, loose cap on the ketchup, hand in warm water, short-sheeting the bed...all the "classics", really, but my original jokes are always mean like that, because I have this strange liking for physical comedy. I decided not to do anymore though. I swear am not really a mean person, but for some reason, jokes like those make me laugh. I choose to sacrifice my amusement at physical comedy (most of the time) to maintaining good relationships with family members and friends. So now I just live vicariously through the April Fools' Day jokes and random pranks of others.

Got any?

Carnival!

2008-03-30T10:43:00.009-04:00

I have a love for all things cheesy, or what I affectionately call kitschy, and carnivals are one of them: the "fixed" games, the shoddy rides, and the inconvenient timing (that couple of weeks where the weather is transitioning, so it's either raining, cold, or both). Roomie, Rock Band Buddy By and I ventured to one last night about half an hour from home. It was in an outlet mall's expansive parking lot (natch) and it was about 50 degrees and decreasing by the hour. We made bets on the games we played (the water-squirting racers, crossbow target practice, popping balloons, and even the Big Slide) and went to a couple of funhouses.

By took a pic of me in front of a mirror that gave me a huuuuuuuge butt, but it didn't register on the camera apparently. Oh well, guess even in distorted images, I am not meant to have a "black girl butt". And yes, there is an Elmo stuffed in my hoodie in the right pic. I tried a fried Oreo (or four) for the first time and even ate chili cheese fries out of a phony dog bowl. Ahh, a slice of classic Americana! Oh, and the carnies! One was desperate to take Roomie on a date, and I encountered one whose real voice sounded like a cross between Boomhower (sp?) from King of the Hill, that voice box Vietnam guy from South Park, and the Scream killer's voice changer. Spoo-ooky! I challenged that it wasn't his real voice, and maybe I hurt his feelings. Oops. No bearded ladies and sword-swallowers, though. We still had a great deal of fun. The whole carnival experience made me think of those Miu Miu ads with Kirsten Dunst.

I jacked it from someone's site (thanks Google images!) so if it's yours, sorry! If you know whose it is, I will give credit, no prob.

Oh! And we went shopping beforehand (of course, it was an outlet!) and Roomie scored these really cute sneakers in a size 9. We searched for a 9.5 for me, but to no avail.

Too bad, I soooo love houndstooth and plaid right now, and I am definitely a Nike girl. But it pleases me to know that she said I have encouraged her to take more fashion risks! :-D big whopping smile on my face. That's great, because she said if she had to pick one outfit to be her uniform forever, it would be a white shirt, jeans and white sneakers. !!!!! I don't know what to say other than put exclamation marks. I would perish in a uniform. Ok, maybe that's dramatic but it would suck royally. Unless, I could constantly change shoes and accessories. I digress as usual. I got some really cute heels too. And they were from Baker's! I don't even like Baker's but I am just attracted to shiny things.

I am certain they are a knockoff of something, but who cares! I got 'em for like 70% off. The cashier said they are last season or something. I find it laughable that places who sell knock-offs have "seasons", especially when their knock-offs are from designer's old seasons. I don't really care about wearing last season's anything. If it looks fabulous, it doesn't matter right? Right? I don't know, maybe I am wrong...nah!

Insomniatic Musings: Why am I Awake at 6:30 a.m.?

2008-03-26T06:16:00.007-04:00

1) Because I never went to bed.

2) Because I am in the mania stage of my newly (just 3 seconds ago) self-diagnosed manic-depression.

3) Because I am suffering from delirium due to eating nothing but one small piece of chocolate cake and a Girl Scout cookie in over 24 hours. Speaking of Girl Scout cookies, what in the hell are these names? I remember when Samoas were Caramel De-lites and Trefoils were Sandies (I think). "Samoas" sounds racist. And, why couldn't they come up with a cruddy name for Thin Mints too? Thin Mints get no attention, damn.

4) Because I am a delinquent liar who swore not to procrastinate on school anymore...yet feeling overwhelmed with a 5-pg paper, speech outline, 7 pages of typed Spanish homework, and 6 pages of Logic homework, all due tomorrow, I think I just checked out. I spent the wee hours surfing the 'Net for pics of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in all of his geeky, indie hotness. I think he's sex on a plate...so hot. But seriously, if you are reading this and know a Joseph Gordon-Levitt look-alike or the man himself, and he's single (how on Earth would that happen, clone or not?), send him my way.

5) Because I am suffering from the worst case of senior-itis better known as college burnout. Why can't you just go when it's convenient and never have homework? Grrr...I hate school with a burning passion, especially voluntary school, aka post-secondary school.

6) Because my mom was right, and I totally have ADHD. I think.

Oh man, I really am not nuts, just delirious!

I Love Pink Tartan!

2008-03-24T22:31:00.003-04:00

This line is so fun and adorable! It's incredibly "scene" with all it's mod designs, but it's still really very cute, especially the Spring 08 line's yummy colors. I combed the 'Net all day for images, but I couldn't find any, nor could I "borrow" some from the site. So check it out! pinktartan.com

I Am Back; Ok, So Get This

2008-03-23T23:51:00.002-04:00

Crazy week! I got sick, dumped, stranded, verbally abused, and robbed. Yes, robbed. Just like the poor girl in the subway, someone jacked me for my iPod. It's so ridic, but I cried because it's the first thing XnFX ever gave me. Someone broke into my mom's car while we were at church on Good Friday and stole it, my mom's brand new iPhone, and her purse, which included her business credit cards, debit cards, social security card, etc. However, I have taken it as a sign that God doesn't want me to talk to XnFX anymore. Heh, then he'll be just X. Anyway, I have decided enough with the pity posts. I gotta tell you if crazy stuff happens, but I will try to avoid posts like the one below. I am gonna keep it up and not delete it to remind myself of how I never want to act over a guy again. Well anyway, I am back like I said. Jet lag is kicking in, so Happy Easter to the celebrators. Until tomorrow!

No Air and Bleeding Love

2008-03-20T09:57:00.003-04:00

Corny, but guys I am something like nursing a broken heart right now. Everytime I start to post I feel so...sad and uninspired. Just give me a few days. I am the worst blogger in the world right now, but on the bright side there is no hiatus or anything. I WILL be back soon. Spring break is half over so expect me back by or before Sunday. That is a promise. My ex-boyfriend who was never really an ex, affectionately (and lamely) called XnFX (ex in effect :-/) is not sure about us, with the long distance and all, although I graduate in a few months. I feel sick about it, but I will be ok eventually. He, unfortunately, is one of my best friends and we would talk everyday. Now I have to get used to not hearing from him or seeing him...ok, rambling. But, these are my circumstances and they seem legit. I will be back Sunday at the latest, (slightly) happier and with new posts. Please don't give up on me, guys. This blog is important to me. Thanks for reading, too.

Ok, So Get This...Reporting Live From the Hilton Hotel

2008-03-16T09:19:00.002-04:00

I am so very glad I didn't make the promise to come back. I would have disappointed, surely! Yesterday was both hectic and confusing. First off, did anyone see how that tornado ripped through downtown Atlanta while the Mississippi State (go Bulldogs!) were whipping the Alabama Crimson Tide, totally disrupting the SEC tourney Friday? Even non-basketball fans may have heard about it, because the tornado ripped through a couple of other ATL landmarks.

What does that have to do with me writing, you ask? Well, for me to achieve the cheapest possible last-minute ticket purchase, I had to make a stop in Charlotte, NC. That's a big deal for me because I hate flying, and it makes me nervous. Generally, it takes a nice cocktail to mellow me out before the flight, but since I don't want to travel down Alcoholic Road, I try to be sleepy when I get on the plane so that I am so tired I can't even focus on being nervous. But I digress (as usual).

At the airport, I flew US Airways. Another sidenote: I try to avoid flying with both them and Southwest, but unfortunately they usually have the cheapest tickets. First off, US Airways seems to confuse departure time with boarding time. I was supposed to leave at 3:15, but the plane wasn't even empty until then. However, we didn't board until about 3:50, because they couldn't find the crew. Let me repeat that. They. Could NOT. FIND. The crew. For the plane. Anyway we end up boarding and sitting on the runway/tarmac/whatever for over an hour because the Charlotte Airport didn't think it was safe for us to fly in; they were freaking out about residual weather problems causing tornadoes like in Atlanta. I wasn't mad that they were concerned for our safety. I was very grateful, in fact. However, did they have to keep us TRAPPED in that tiny metal tube? I was sitting at the very back of the plane in the window seat and was feeling very constricted. I have to tell you, I don't do well in close spaces for extended periods of time (not flying coach, anyway). By the time we took off I was ready to strangle the woman next to me to keep her from sniffling. She sniffled for an hour. An hour! We were at the back of the grounded plane, not 5 feet from the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom! Arrggg!

But then Charlotte said the storm front passed and we were cleared for takeoff. After a generally bumpy ride, I entered the Charlotte airport, supposedly an hour before my next flight. I check the schedule and it has been delayed until about 9:30 pm! Ick. Oh well, I take a positive outlook and just thank goodness that I can grab a bite to eat at a restaurant or whatever. I finished eating, but it was just 8 pm. I thought about just lounging in the restaurant and watching Without a Trace (my Cold Case substitute) but something told me to check on my flight. Lucky that I did, for it had been pushed up to 8:30, and I was at the other side of the huuuuuuugge airport! I made a mad dash for the gate, got there, and a flight to Nashville or Newport News or something was there instead. I checked the gate again, and they had changed it. I ran to the gate, expecting to board right away, but nothing doing. The entire Charlotte airport was in chaos. Everywhere I went people were running, trying to catch flights. I sat there until 8:45 receiving no information from the service people and listening to an Adam Levine look-alike playing John Mayer songs on his guitar. Then our flight info screen changed to info on a flight to Augusta, GA! That was the final straw and I went to find out what happened.

You guys know I can make a short story long, and this is already long enough, so I will get to the nitty gritty as best I can. The flight was canceled, then it wasn't, and then it was again. They started putting us on new flights, but as it's Jxn, MS, there aren't that many, so they filled up fast. I would have had to leave Charlotte on Monday, or go to a nearby city like Birmingham, Al or Memphis, TN to get home. But then, (luck o' the Irish! ha ha) a reservation opened up and now I am flying out this afternoon. They gave us (gorgeous) hotel rooms and here I am. I just pray nothing else goes wrong. Stay tuned!

I'm Sorry!

2008-03-14T18:10:00.004-04:00

I lied about being back here yesterday...my pants are so on fire right now. I have just been getting so caught up with trying to get stuff done for school in time for spring break (which started an hour ago). I know I am just going to make a butt-load of excuses, so I won't even bore you with that. Despite my lack of dedication, I just want to say how pleased I am to see that people pop in here from time to time. Thanks a bunch! :-)

I was going to write about how much I dislike this certain singer, but it seemed really petty. Even though this is my blog, and I can say what I want, I don't want to alienate any of her fans that may come here. Besides, what good would that negative energy do for me, right? Ok, no more bad thoughts, no matter how much she irks me (and she does).

Anyway. I am going to be doing all my traveling home tomorrow. I have all of my outfits ready to go. Since it is warm at home (mid-70s, methinks) I am excited to wear my spring clothes! I don't have many (yet) but I went to Target to check out the Jovovich-Hawk collection. Apparently all the fashionistas got there early and cleaned it out of the good sizes (I mean, where is my chest going to go in an XS? Really?). But, there was tons of Mossimo, which is underrated in my personal opinion! I found a really adorable taupe/purple flowered spring dress with a stretch/rouched bodice, that looks similar to a blue/tan hippie dress from the Jovovich-Hawk collection (and $20 less, how do you like that?). Plus I got these really quirky looking neon plaid wedges. Secretista said that she heard ballet flats are out this spring while wedges are in. Know what I say to that idea? "Kiss my flats!" Hahaha, incredibly lame, but true nonetheless. I just bought some cute floral flats and I don't care whether it stays trendy, they are perfect for my stupid hilly campus. I do love wedges too though, can't deny that.

I can't wait to tell you guys about all the stuff I (hope to) get into in my boring little town/city this upcoming week (sarcasm of course)! Or maybe I will just keep the topics off my boring life...can't believe none of my lame friends want to go on a crazy road trip or something. It could be like Boys on the Side, minus the cancer or whatever...or Crossroads, minus the cheesy acting...or Road Trip, minus the abomination that is Tom Green. Ha ha, at any rate I hope to have much more interesting posts with lots of pics for the people with short attention spans. I ramble, I know. If Roomie's flight isn't delayed, I may even come back tonight! But I learned my lesson about making promises. I know, I know, what a jerk!

Stupid Exams tomorrow...

2008-03-11T20:02:00.002-04:00

One in the a.m. (cognition) and one in the afternoon (econ.) so I will be back tomorrow. I am really trying to be on this blog as often as possible...this is like my fave thing to do, but cramming is no longer my reality, so I must actually review tonight. Later!

GirlCrush: Rashida Jones

2008-03-10T16:22:00.004-04:00

I am trying out this new type of post, where each week or so (you know my posting habits already, I am sure) I write briefly about a celebrity (that's the current criterion) woman I admire for her various attributes: be it style, charity, poise, intelligence, beauty, character, talent, etc. I call it GirlCrush simply because I often find myself gushing, "Oh my God, I love her!" when I see one of them. Contrary to popular belief, females are not always catty or jealous, and I am sure there are many girls like me who have found women to admire.

The first of these is Rashida Jones, daughter of legendary mogul Quincy Jones and one of the coolest girls in 60's TV, Peggy Lipton (best known as Detective Julie Barnes of the Mod Squad). In case you were living in a bomb shelter somewhere since Steve Carell first made his presence known, you have seen Rashida in the hit show, The Office. Outside of seeing her always at Quincy Jones' side as a younger girl, I was first introduced to Rashida on the series Boston Public. She's done a number of movies, and a couple of shows, too. You can now watch her on the new FOX show, Unhitched, which I really hope sticks around on the lineup. She's also a singer/songwriter like her dad. Recently I read a brief article on her and found out she was shunned by an all-black Greek organization at Harvard (which surprises me, for who wouldn't want Q's daughter as a member?), and I totally sympathized! It just made me love her more. From what I have seen of her personality, she seems a lot like me, and it's no wonder they didn't take her. She strikes me as the type to always be on the outskirts, "on the verge" of fitting in, but not quite, be it for her own choices or out of others' misunderstanding. Hence, she oozes fantastic awesomeness.

I wish my picture had come out bigger...grr. I heard she now has a green clothing line with a friend. I hate celebrity's putting their names on the designs of others and claiming it for their own, but power to her for making it enviro-friendly. She has such great style to me. If I were a celebrity, I think many of my days would be spent looking like her (with a bit of Agyness Deyn's hipster quirkiness infused). She is so adorably casual, sometimes leaning towards dressing like a trendy guy, and when she gets glam, she just looks so effortlessly gorgeous. Plus, I love how no matter what she wears she looks comfortable in it, like she's just having the most fun. I wonder why she doesn't model? I would so buy what she's selling.

Ok, So Get This...(Or, why this "Supergyrl" ain't so super...)

2008-03-06T19:18:00.006-05:00

I had something else planned for today, but I had to write about this while the novelty, shock, and anger were fresh. In case you didn't know, supergyrl is part of the email address I have had since the 7th or 8th grade...some young girl's unhealthy infatuation with Superman, blah, blah, blah. On to today's topic.

I witnessed a robbery today. Well, it was more like a mugging, but I generally think of a gun being involved in a mugging. I was in the subway (or Metro, whatev) after my morning exam, listening to my iPod and waiting for my train home to show up when I heard a girl yelling. I couldn't make out what she was saying over the blast of my headphones plus the train terminal is kinda long. So, I just assumed that it was some raucous high school kids playing around like usual. A few seconds later, this guy brushes past me like lightning. Surprised, I removed one of the earbuds to hear the girl scream (again): "Somebody help me! Stop him! He stole my iPod!" I looked up in time to see the guy running up the escalator at which time this other guy hurried over.

"Is this for real?" I asked, and he shrugged. Immediately we both went after the guy. We followed him out of the station's only exit on that side, but he was already gone. The guy I spoke to just continued on walking away, which made me wonder (later) if he was a co-conspirator. By this time, the girl had caught up with me and was bawling her eyes out. We asked some workers at the exit if they saw where he went, but they only knew he disappeared into a cluster of apartment buildings. We flagged down a policeman in a cop car (which was at the corner, btw), who contacted Metro Transit Police, but he wouldn't go investigate at the apartments. I know it's the hood, but yeesh, call backup or something. Since I saw the thief's jacket, I kept looking around to see if he might appear down the street, but he was history. When the MTP got there, the girl made her report and I gave my witness statement. We offered to show the thief to the cops on the security cameras, but they refused to let us see them, which was ridic since we were the only ones still on the train platform that saw him.

On my way home, I felt kind of guilty for not taking her yelling seriously at first. If I had heard what she was saying I could have tripped him as he ran by. But, I did try to help by going after him. I got flak from my dad about it, but it seemed unlikely that a high school aged black boy who snatched an iPod from the only 5'2" Jewish girl (out of all of us with iPods, no offense) in the station would pose much of a threat to me, especially with police nearby. Anyway, because I could be wrong, I never intended to confront him alone, merely find his location and get a good look at him. But the thing that bothered me most was what she kept saying as she was crying: "I was screaming for help, and no one did anything."

Now, like any Psych major, I know about bystander apathy when I hear it. But, the facts do not change that I find it ridiculous. This girl lost $300 bucks she probably won't get back. In fact, never mind whether she looked rich, or poor, or whatever. The entire event is violating. Someone has entered your personal space and took from you, out of your hands. How would you feel? How could you possibly see it happening and not do anything about it? It made me feel sick. I (morbidly) began thinking of all the things that could happen to me, in a public place, and there is always the possibility that no one would help me. Not to be that person and make it a "race thing," but everyone in that station today was black except for her. I was really hoping that the actions of everyone involved (and not involved, just watching it happen) would not distort her views of my black people as a whole; that can happen, you know, especially with jarring experiences such as these. That poor girl; I know that it's better he took an object than something more valuable, like her life, but still, it's a traumatizing thing. I always said I would never fall victim to bystander apathy, but I almost did. I shrugged off her screams initially because I have been so conditioned by my experiences that I was accustomed to...ok, sorry, it was a Psych exam this morning. Something similar happened to my first roommate late at night a few years back, but there was a gun involved. It may be extreme, but I am seriously rethinking my position on driving to school.

Oh, and I think I got a C on that exam. Ick. I hope it was a B, but I don't know. I did a poor job of studying. And, I discovered that an all-night cram session leads to lapses in judgment. Case in point (excuse my piano-player fingers):

Btw, visit my Bestie's blog! She's a noob and a goofball like me, and she's one of my fave people in the world!

Can't Be Bothered...

2008-03-05T19:49:00.005-05:00

Aww, that's a total lie (not really)! I am gonna be watching America's Next Top Model, like now...which is the small bit of time between sleeping and studying that I had initially allotted for posting. Got a major exam in Psych Testing tomorrow @ 8 am. Plus, Roomie's not home this week (sad face!), so I got sidetracked doing a bit of Risky Business dancing in the kitchen. I frickin' love doing this blog. I can bitch and moan and squeal excitedly about whatever I want. But really, the more readers I get (um, is it 2 now? Or 3?) the more I feel I must impress you. So, as I am cooking up a couple of spectacular (not really) posts to regale you with for the next few days, enjoy this ANTM recap of last Wednesday by the incredible Rich @ FourFour. Such a funny and creative blogger, really. Even if you don't like the show, I guarantee you will be grabbing your sides in laughter at his posts!

I will not neglect this blog. I will not neglect this blog. That is my solemn oath to all (3) of you! Don't abandon me when I need readers the most!

The Place to be

2008-03-03T17:43:00.008-05:00

The past 2 weekends have cemented 2 things in my mind: 1) being drunk for 48 hours straight is not a good idea (especially for a rookie like me), and 2) I love, love, love gay clubs, and I am sure there are many kinds but I mean the really techno-heavy, house mix, sweat-your-hairdo-out gay clubs. It's probably because I get called fierce, which (is kinda dated but) I love only because the gay guys I know would never say it if they didn't mean it, as well as getting to wear some smokin' hot outfit without getting hit on (as many black lesbians I have seen appear to frequent straight clubs to hear hip-hop/r&b/top 40 hits). It's fantastic to dance the night away without your "radar" on. You know, having to be on the lookout that some ugly guy is gonna creep up on you and start humping your leg. Aside from the confines of my iPod headphones, it's the only type of place I can listen to Madonna, Whitney, and Janet club mixes to my heart's content, and actually (gasp!) enjoy Britney and Rihanna songs. Plus the guys are often hot and shirtless (sometimes pants-less, due to the check your pants at the door, get in free Saturday night they had), so there is eye candy abundance.

The one place that Roomie and I attend with something like regularity is be bar, as Roomie's ex-roomie, our incredibly stylish friend, we'll call her Maven (short for Fashion Maven, natch), works there. We also bring our cool, hip, and metrosexual Rock Band buddy By with us. He's great. So anyway this one particular night, I was coaxed (not hard, since I was already tipsy) into doing my "model walk" down the sidewalk in this:

I soooo would've been a late 80's early 90's queen! See, Susan? Took your advice and wore the jacket. I loved it...the whole look. The dress is this thick-strapped, tight fitting number that made my body look fantastic in person. Yes, my head is swelling. Stupid lighting...the tights were the same bright purple as one of my fave Urban Decay eyeshadows, Flash, which I was wearing.

I would show it to you but I hate close-ups of my face. Trust me when I say it was great. I had my kohl black Diorshow mascara and did a mod/Amy Winehouse winged eye with my eyeliner, which I highlighted and blended with the purple on my lid and did stark purple under my lower lashes. I love a dramatic eye for night! Although in the club (and in the pics, apparently) it was hardly visible, I knew it was there and that's what matters, right? Long story short, I had a fantastic time although vodka and tequila were emanating from my pores all weekend. Yuck.

Score!

2008-03-03T00:19:00.006-05:00

I am most often discouraged on retail/outlet shopping trips...most sales do diddly-squat to fit my budget or the clothes I have heard so much about disappoint, majorly (*cough* Bitten by SJP *cough* more on that in a sec). But yesterday...the clouds parted and the choirs sang harmoniously as the sunrays shined on this little number.

Ok, ok, not really, and I have already said I am no photographer (plus my camera is like from the first generation of digital cameras, btw). It looks a little blah in the pics, but this silver/gray trench coat (is it a coat, really?) is all kinds of awesome in real life. Shockingly it is by Romeo + Juliet Couture, which I usually loathe (damn you, with your fleur de lis and trendy skulls on your $65 t-shirts). It retails for close to $200, which I find ridic, so imagine my pleasure to get it for the price of one of the aforementioned tees! Yay, me!

Ok, so you true bargain hunters and fashionistas may be scoffing at my deal, but I am very proud. One of the biggest ironies I encounter as a 5'8" size 4 is the "model myth". You know, that most clothes are made for tall, skinny girls. Skinny maybe, tall...hell no. Most jackets cuff at that awkward length some 3" before it hits my wrist. I look like I've grown out of my clothes though they are newly purchased. The ones that are long enough at the sleeves are so big on my frame they make me look like a perverted flasher. Others I would try to fake as being 3/4 length sleeves won't close over my chest. This jacket is heaven to me for being pretty, pleated, light-weight, having the ability to close over my boobs (*ahem* Bitten), and having 3/4 length sleeves. It's gonna be my spring trench. It's so girly I can't stand it! Squee!

And now that you have indulged me in my little gushing moment...I gotta talk about Bitten by Sarah Jessica Parker. WTF, dude? I was so hyped. I went on the site and picked out this adorable dress and waist-length khaki trench that would total up to $20. I went to Steve and Barry's with baited breath and...wow. First off, I felt like I am in a Sam's Club Warehouse while Amanda Bynes is talking to me with crossed eyes about her Wet-Seal-on-speed line, Dear. I wentstraight to the Bitten area...it was half cleaned out. People were grabbing and tossing things like a free-for-all. Did I mention it was Saturday? It was like one of those cartoon clouds of smoke they use to symbolize fights with the limbs and heads appearing from time to time. My hoped-for trench was nowhere to be found. Damn. It. But I found the dress! In a size 14! Curses, foiled again. As I hung my head, tossed haphazardly from a rack was a cute, simple LBD and I got excited again, taking a 4 and a 6 with me to the dressing room. I tried on the 4 first, and my roommate had to practically press her foot into my back to shove me in the top of the dress corset-style so she can zip it. Ah, no worries, I have huge nunga-nungas. It is a fact of my life, and I deal. So then I put on the 6. It fit exactly like the 4 at the top, yet the fabric barely grazed my waist! So, does SJP think that as girls' frames spread, their chests stay exactly the same? The injustice, people! I looked around more, but felt more and more uninspired by all the nondescript colors and designs. Bitten was sucking out what little fashion savvy I had vampire-style (get it? Get it?) and so I left, muttering about how Carrie Bradshaw wouldn't be caught dead in there.

But then I found my trench coat/jacket/thingie and forgot all about it! :-) Shopping is like the best roller coaster I could ever ride, I swear it.

Oh, and apparently I have a reader or two! Hope I haven't sent you packing with my lackadaisical updating habits!

Obligatory Post

2008-02-18T14:54:00.002-05:00

Didn't want to let so much time go by without a post again. These MCAT prep classes in addition to 20 credits worth of classes this semester are seriously kicking my butt. I may post later, but Happy Prez Day, I guess.

The Closet Dregs

2008-02-16T12:28:00.009-05:00

I am a pack rat and compulsive shopper who made a new year's resolution to: 1) reincorporate my old clothing into my wardrobe if it's wearable, and 2) not enter any retail or online store with my credit or debit card or cash nearby (most of the time). So far, I have remained committed to #2, I haven't bought a thing from online or a retail store...but #1 still gives me trouble. The thing is, I can still fit all of my clothes from 9th-12th grade. In fact, some are a little big (size 7 or 8) but can be taken in. I know many people who say they wish they had my problem, but because I am a pack rat, it makes it extremely difficult to justify getting rid of these clothes. Well, I abandoned those pieces with "Baby Phat", "Ecko Red", "Rocawear", etc. emblazoned in jewels and such because, well, in Tamia's words, I am just too grown for that. Other than being a mid-priced label ho, I was a nondescript dresser in high school, so it is not as if my jeans, skirts, dresses, and t-shirts are totally out of style. In fact, nothing really has to be out of style, the way I see it; it just needs a little revamping. You know: "We can rebuild it, we have the technology..."

So, in honor of my pack-rat-y-ness, I have decided to pull from the closet dregs and see what I can do with some of the stuff I never wear, including old, old clothes and what-the-hell-was-I-thinking impulse buys. Let's begin with this skirt.

It's from my Tommy Hilfiger phase of 8th grade (yes, my black people, I know, sorry). I would call it A-line to the extreme, the way it flares and folds. AAA-line. It is extremely difficult to pair with anything in my closet but a fitted tee, but I wanted to reach just a little further. Here's what I came up with.

Jacket: 80's leather, thrifted. Shirt: Express, clearance bin. Skirt: Uh, the TH store? I dunno. Tights: Forever 21. Boots: Casadei, bluefly.com clearance.

Whoo, buddy...my legs look minute on camera. I must apologize for poor lighting...and aim...and whatever else sucks about the picture itself. I am no photographer. Nor am I the most photogenic. There is that 80's leather jacket. I tried to subdue the giant arm effect by tucking it back some. I can't say I am crazy about this one, but I will tell you that I was going for that whole biker effect with a touch of femininity. I am wearing silver feather earrings, but they aren't very visible here, although cute in person. Ahhh, it's okay. Whatevs, I am relatively new to the whole self-fashion thing so I am not too upset about it. In retrospect, I would change the shirt, but to what? Dunno. I really just wanted to wear the boots, which I am obsessed with and would wear everyday if my distressed and eventually mangled feet wouldn't bleed all over the Italian leather.

Undershirt: Old Navy? Tunic: Wet Seal, ages ago. Bracelets: Forever 21. Plaid Flats: thrifted

Ok, I must say I like this one better. I didn't go overboard with any colors, which seems to be the bravest way to be fashionable. But, the skirt was so pale, most of my tights and bright shirts made it look incredibly out of place. Those plaid flats are my faves (of the few flats I have), and so I just stuck em on. The cream shirt is so old, the printing on the shirt (with the store purchased, etc) is totally gone. I think it was Old Navy, but who the hell knows? I wear it under stuff only, because for some reason the fabric loosens over the course of the day. The navy tunic is actually old too, but I wear it from time to time, so it doesn't count for the dregs. I think this pairing actually makes it look like it's supposed to be a dress, which is nice. It'd be ok to wear in that transitional time when March is not sure whether to be warm or chilly. Plus the tunic subdues the circular flare of the skirt, which would come in handy for that crazy DC wind so I am not flashing my goods to the general public.

Question...

2008-02-15T13:59:00.006-05:00

If I found a steal of a deal vintage 80's black leather jacket with the large winged Dolman sleeves *that makes me look like Queen-of-the-night/wanna-dance-with-somebody Whitney Houston* do I alter said sleeves to my (slightly updated) "tastes"? Or do I leave it alone to pay homage to the era *and my laziness* and endure the confused looks of my friends? Quite the quandary...

Guilty Pleasures (TV edition)

2008-02-07T21:43:00.002-05:00

I watch a lot of TV, and lately, as much Cold Case as I can lay my eyes on. In fact, just before writing this I was perusing the web for online episodes since CBS doesn't keep any on Innertube. I love, love, love this show and don't care that I hopped on the bandwagon about 5 seasons in...I am hooked. Despite her never-changing hairstyle (though it's looking better this season...it's still "with hair clip"/"without hair clip"), I love Kathryn Morris as damaged Detective Lilly Rush (and as damaged wife of Tom Cruise in Minority Report).

And boy-oh-boy was I thrilled to see fellow Howard-ite, the beautiful Tracie Thoms as Detective Kat Miller (veteran of Rent, The Devil Wears Prada, and Grindhouse...shazzam!) doing it up on network TV!

But, the lustful, boy-crazy teenybopper in me must confess my infatuation with Danny Pino also known as the smokin' hot Detective Scotty Valens (sigh). I mean, he is just one delicious man. I can be really ridiculous, screaming at the TV for Lilly and Scotty to just get it on already. It's so there - the sexual tension, I mean. Wow. I have to admit seeing it in print is kinda sad, but true. The other actors are wonderful too, but these are my faves. Oh, and the photos are from the CBS Cold Case website.

Ok, So Get This...

2008-02-01T19:27:00.001-05:00

I have bad luck. But, not in the got-held-up-in-a-back-alley or I-lost-all-my-money-gambling sense of the phrase: just really small things that hinder my daily progress/make others laugh at my minor misfortunes. Overall, I know life is good for me, but the cynic comes out of me every now and then. These are everyday occurrences and not wholly unusual, but the way they tend to pile on seems straight out of a movie/tv show. So incredulous are my mother and friends when I regale them with tales of my day (cuz I have to vent of course) they often say, "you should write these down!" And, now I will be.

Last night, I went through the elaborate process of budget hairstyling and managed to achieve a semi-perfect blowout, springy curls and all. Like any "beauty is pain" mantra worshiper, I endured a fitful night of sleep on balled fists to preserve my coiffure (yeah, it was that good). Because I took so long dipping into REM sleep, I woke up late. Jumping into my non-ironed clothes was punctuated with a frantic search for my gloves, resulting in spilling a large glass of water on my (closed, luckily) brand new laptop. Freaking out, (natch), I mopped it up with a towel: a towel on which were attached...dunh-dunh-dunh...said gloves, now sopping wet. With no time to cry over spilled milk - er, water, I headed out the door to begin my daily subway journey to university.

On the train, I mention the rain to my friend, and he makes an "umbrella-ella-ella" joke. I proceed to rant about how played the phrase is (it's 2008, people!) and the song as well. Like usual, I got dramatically overzealous in complaining about how overrated Rihanna and the Dream (songwriter) are in my distaste. Nothing new there. Upon leaving the Metro stop, I opened my umbrella (eh, eh) only to have it close on my head. Like a Venus Flytrap. The nifty little compact with the pop-out function snapped. I tried to force it back open only to realize I would have to hold it open the entire uphill journey to class (which isn't short, I should mention). Great.

Upon reaching class, I realize that my semi-closed umbrella caused a steady accumulation of water to drip, drip, drip onto my shiny bouncy hair, reducing it to a stiff, frizzy nest, as it would stay until the close of my day. As I pulled out my (soggy!) notebook from my (open!) tote, with numb red hands I concluded three things about God, or Karma, at least: He loves irony, has impeccable comedic timing, and is a huge Rihanna fan.

The Intro...First Post

2008-01-31T14:15:00.002-05:00

K, so I read blogs often...really clever ones dedicated to all sorts of things by all sorts of people and I think, "So easy!" Then I sign up for blogger.com and commence to sit and stare at the screen for a good half-hour before figuring out...duh, I should introduce the blog! Clearly I am off to a great start. So, here I go.

Wait...first I wanna apologize to the veterans for scoffing at the difficulty of a good blog. I can only hope mine will be even half as good as some of those I've seen. Okay, now here I go.

I call this blog AmalgaMade, for two reasons: 1) it describes me well, and 2) I really am not certain what I want the main focus of this blog to be. In case you didn't figure it out, the title's really two words, Amalgam, defined (last definition, skip the ones about alloys) as "a combination of diverse elements; a mixture" and the word Made. My intention is to try to be funny, informative, and somewhat helpful in the arenas of fashion, music, movies, hair, makeup, and anything else I can think of as I venture on my "adult", college-graduated life. Well, not college-graduated yet, but I'm getting there...even with words like college-graduated, yeesh.

I wanna make clear, of course, I am a self-described quirky geek with sometimes Southern (read, outdated) ideas on some things. Example 1: I think a cardigan and pearls are classic and chic, but I am not above wearing a necklace on my head as a headband (it was cute, I swear it!). I love trends; I just don't follow them. Often. Example 2: I think that House Party is a hilarious movie, and I loved Pan's Labyrinth's plot and imagery. Hence, grow with me a little while before you decide you hate my odd style, or think it's predictable...I am sort of a mix (there's the amalgam thing...get it? Get it???) So far, I am the only one reading this thing, but I hope my words will lead to popularity among legions of fans...I think 10 is a nice, round number.