This is Ridiculous...

BEIJING — A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said _ the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games... more @ huffingtonpost.com

I am actually surprised this hasn't happened in America yet, as we are so insanely appearance conscious. I don't mean Milli Vanilli or that chick from C&C Factory or whatever - that's dumb enough, but I mean kids. It's funny, I actually thought some countries were above this sort of garbage. Political ideologies aside (it's a touchy subject), I have always assumed that China was overall a country of somewhat intelligent people who do not have face and body image at the top of their lists, focusing on more fulfilling things like academic pursuits, technological advances, etc. I realize that even the most vague generalizations can surprise you. And in a 7-year old? My goodness! I certainly hope they didn't tell the poor girl she wasn't "pretty enough" to sing the anthem, although she was a good enough singer to apparently warrant lip-synching. Sad.

Goodnight, Goodnight

It's a very sad thing to have to go through the grieving process of death, be it a family member, friend, significant other, or even just someone you admire. Almost to the day, it has been a whole year since my mother's family lost my cousin in a sudden, dramatic fashion, only within days of the anniversary of my grandmother's (mother's side) death. Prior to that, it had been 4 years since I had to wear black and brace myself for the always incredibly difficult open casket funeral. Most people are not as...i don't know...by it as I am. But seeing a person I once knew as animated replaced with a cold, waxy shell is a very hollowing experience. Eventually I find my way back to center, but for days, weeks, or months, I find myself questioning my own time here, pondering eternity and if there is an "end" to life after all. I try to dwell on it as little as possible because as they say, "life is for the living."

But, I said all this to say I was really shocked about Bernie Mac's death this morning. Although as a child I was never allowed to watch his stand-up (or George Carlin's, for that matter), I did anyway, relishing in the curse words and sexual innuendos I didn't totally understand. As he slowly became more accessible to the younger crowd, I grew up with him on my screens, both movie and TV. Every death is both important and sad for someone, but these celebrity deaths resonate with me because I experienced such personal emotions with them: crushes, emulation, admiration, and so on, as most Americans tend to with our informal form of royalty.

Every year seems to take with it the lives of legends or those in the making, leaving us with these sad, deformed clones of the originals, like Dane Cook, the Disney stars, just about anyone who can be referred to as a "tween," Paris of course, Lindsay, these pathetic gimmick bands, and so on. 2008 was filled with icons, and those that could have been.

Bernie Mac
George Carlin
Sydney Pollack
Bo Diddley
Bobby Fischer
Jim McKay
Heath Ledger
Yves Saint Laurent
Charlton Heston
Anthony Minghella
Brad Renfro
Estelle Getty
Dick Martin
Harvey Korman
Ola Brunkert (ABBA)
Roy Scheider
Tim Russert
Suzanne Pleshette
Allan Melvin

There were more I am sure, as well as plenty of non-celebrity people, and they will all be missed.

Black & Gold

The New Orleans Saints are hosting their training camp here in my hometown, something done at least since Hurricane Katrina. So what does that mean? It means that Kim Kardashian was here for a hot second, it reminded me of Sam Sparro, and I have an excuse to post!



(This was the only version I could find that would embed from youTube, so ignore the talking at the beginning and end). Sam Sparro is an amazing singer (who got the stamp of approval from a legend, Chaka Khan) from Australia. "Black & Gold" is likely not his first single, but it was the first song I ever heard from him, and I was HOOKED! His album is filled with varied sounds but he always seems to come back to this electronic, club music that he blends with his smooth, sexy voice. I love the entire album and how open he is about his sexuality, and I am certain that with the right promotion he could reach gay icon status one day. How many openly homosexual male singers are there, after all? I think that will either be one more thing in his favor or ultimately his downfall though I am hoping for the former.

Here he is singing a cute cover of Estelle's "American Boy". I love his sweater, but then I love his style, in general! I think I will do another post on him in the coming days.



I was going to post a bunch of black and gold clothes too, but I just decided that Sam Sparro is a touch act to follow, inanimate or no. If I find any worthwhile and I am sure I will, I will post it under Black & Gold part 2.

PS. I think it's funny how I went from (briefly) mentioning football, a "man's man" activity, to an openly gay singer! :-D The things we do for a posting topic.

Update...

I am working on a couple of dresses right now that I hope to have finished in the next 2 weeks (can you tell I am a novice seamstress?) and I really wanted to show off my geeky new glasses, but I cannot find my camera anywhere. I was so stressed trying to prepare for my ANTM audition that I have no idea where I put it and haven't seen it since then. As soon as I find it, I will post! Or if I find something else to post, then erm, I will post that :-)

August is Here...(Ramble, Ramble)

And I can't be more disappointed. August means the start of another school year and the countdown to my Nov. birthday. I gotta admit, I really expected something kind of amazing to happen to me this summer. Granted, I moved back home, but that was a really big deal. I know I probably read far too much fiction, but I feel like there is some magical, chemical reaction that occurs when you combine a really hopeful girl with a big change.

But really, playing devil's advocate, what did I really expect? I do, after all, live in West Bumblef*ck City, MS (the whole state's a bumblef*ck to be honest, and I say that in the most lovingly loyal way). I am living with my parents, working a job that is well, kinda boring, to be honest (though it is for a really good cause), and making my own clothes, constantly pining for glamour, love, excitement, travel - all things hardly associated with being an aspiring doctor in MS.

But what other choice do I have? I have just enough money in the bank to live somewhere rent-free, i.e. my childhood home. Even though I am saving money with the intent of venturing out on my own, I have no idea how long that will take. I may not get into any med school in the coming year, but right now my best bet is the one down the street from my parents' house...which will trap me here a minimum of another four years.

Le sigh.

I tried out for America's Next Top Model this summer too, with this idealistic hope that if I at least went in there and was confident, was myself, they might see in me that "thing" I have always hoped was there but was never quite certain of. You know, the "thing" that would make everything worthwhile, that would put me up there with Tyra and Heidi and Iman and Giselle, saying "I used to be teased about my height/thinness/breasts/legs, but look at me now!" And, perhaps that is incredibly shallow.

Maybe it is really sad to want that kind of validation, especially in a business that tears people down so frequently. For some strange reason, I feel I can handle it. For my entire life I have dealt with people who would be so cruel they would try (and often succeed) at reducing me to tears, so why not get paid major bucks for it, be in and around the fashion I love so much, and let other little girls see: "She's not conventionally pretty, but she is unique and beautiful...maybe I am too." I am a product of my environment in some ways. For as much as I enjoy being different and like to think of myself as deep or introspective or whatever (haha, just like that), part of me wants to be admired, emulated, enjoyed, and celebrated by people who have no need to, who have no reason to or connection to me outside of being human just like me. Beauty is fleeting, and fame is even more difficult to keep, but something in me keeps drawing me there.

This fork in the road I stand before...how can two paths be so different? To be honest I almost feel kind of ashamed for wanting to model. My parents are such distinguished intellectuals and I have been such the academic achiever it feels like a slap in the face to want to do anything outside of the cookie cutter realm of doctor-lawyer-teacher-scientist. Whenever any adult (defined as: older than me) asks me what I am going to do, I never say, "Well I feel equally pulled towards being a doctor and a model." I always say, "I am trying to get into medical school." Not that I am not actively trying to go, but I find it ironic since I usually say that for appearance's sake, rather than the truth, which is that I am trying to move forward in both to see which one will tip the scales in or out of its favor. The thing is, both require a lot of time and effort, and I worry that if I dedicate myself solely to one, I might be miserable, realize I made the wrong decision, and too much time may have passed for me to go back and try the other.

It's funny (not really). I used to be quite smug about 20-something rich brats trying to "find themselves" since I planned out my life at about age 10. Now I am just like them (minus the rich part) and in fact, at a disadvantage since they were never sure about their career paths in the first place. Being the perfectionist I (often) am - not counting my grammar skills now since I am rambling - my biggest fear is to make a mistake in something so crucial, and I know that's not the best way to approach the situation.

As you can see, I am not exactly at a loss for words, but to sum it up: I know exactly where I am yet I have never felt so lost in my whole life.

Hi, Haters!

I'm back off hiatus :-).

Or call it my impromptu sabbatical. No apologies this time, anyone still bored enough to check here should know I may disappoint(?) again.

While I come up with more reee-diculous things to entertain(?) you with, here's what a real video should look like. No club scenes/beach scenes/dance breaks (unless that's your thing), and some great people in music. Faith restorers, even.

Six...Well, Five Days Left!

But, in honor of 6 days left, watch Six and the City! And yes, I know I spelled it "six".


This is so adorable, even if slightly risque (to me) for six-year olds! Age 6 Charlotte is just how I would've imagined her!

Everyone Go See Indiana Jones!

I am terrified Shia might ruin it. As much as I adore him, I love Indy more. We shall see.

Image jacked from somewhere in cyberspace.

Pump and Circumstance (The Graduation Post)

I had 2 dresses. The reason is because my university is relatively large, so there is a recognition ceremony for the individual schools, and then a big ceremony with orators and such with all of the schools combined.

On the day of the recognition ceremony it rained with utter disdain for the happy occasion, complete with cold winds and chilly temperatures. So, I was incredibly out of place in this number:




Thank goodness we had to wear our robes. But I really like the bold colors of this dress. I wore it with my new favorite foot-murdering Bakers silver peep-toes. I really weighed my options between the two dresses I had regarding the above dress and the dress I am about to show. I felt much more comfortable spending graduation day (with the greeting people and dinner and all of that) under my coat in this dress. To my pleasant surprise, particularly since both were purchased for less than $20 the night before, I got lots of compliments on both.




PS, I realize this post has nothing to do with pumps, I just thought the title was really cute. :-)

Feeling Bummy...

Yes, for the past week or so I have felt like a total bum. There was no time between graduation stuff and entertaining the family to post anything, so when I finally got a break from it all, it seemed much more appealing to stare into space and/or watch Family Guy and Sex and the City reruns than post. The last of the family members left on Tuesday, so my hostess duties officially ended. Well whatever...I'll catch you up:

I graduated. Yes, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology, magna cum laude. I wanted summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, but really, who doesn't?

My parents cut the umbilical cord, but I have every intention of re-entering the womb. Ahhhh, so to speak. If my Drexel dreams do not manifest themselves, then it is back to the hometown to save up some money working at my mom's practice because the cost of living "up north" is not cheap.

I helped my bff April see the light. She knows what I mean...about a certain famous person, perhaps? ;-) To be fair, thanks to her, I now hate everything about Chris Brown.

Roomie and I are talking again. But, I was still right to begin with.

I missed Kanye West, at his concert and subsequent party in DC...the guy with which I am obsessed. Ask anybody, I have this sick fetish for arrogance. I was devastated, needless to say.

I pierced my ears again. Why? Well, because I am a hard-rocking bad-ass, that's why. I wanted to get the tragus (tragi?) pierced but the place I went to didn't do it. Btw, the tragus is that, uh, flippy thing covering your ear canal. And mine too.

I think that's it. I will post pics of my grad dresses (yes, plural) later.

Desperately Seeking Grad Dress

Graduation Day is looming...just 6 days away! And, like any procrastinator, I have yet to find the perfect graduation dress. I know, I know, it'll be covered by the traditional cap and gown, but why can't I look fab underneath? Plus, there's always the after parties and/or dinner with the family. I previously had a subdued black version of Marilyn Monroe's iconic Seven Year Itch dress lined up and I got it for only $5! Unfortunately, I remembered with dismay that graduation is OUTUSIDE in DAYLIGHT...duh. So, I had been combing the thrift shops fruitlessly for another gem of that caliber when I thought it would be fun to just try on the really expensive dresses in Macy's to make myself feel better. HUUUUGE mistake. I found my dream dress.

A BCBG Max Azria beauty in its simplicity. It's so virginal and looked fantastic on my skin (and no, I am no longer one of those girls who feel depressed trying on clothes because I seem to pick things that look great on me...finally!) while actually fitting in the boob area. This surly (and odd-looking, I might add) model does this dress no justice. I fell in love in the fluorescent-lit dressing room. Unfortunately for me, it costs $388 dollars. Now in the grand scheme of designer dresses, I know that's chump change...but it broke my heart in two.

And now, I have been bitten by the designer bug and further hurt my own feelings by visiting Bluefly.com, love of my pampered-undergrad life, bane of my broke-graduate existence. All of these lovely dresses fit my grad-dress criteria, including being statement-making (white does that, right?), sleeveless or strapless, and above the knee. I sure wish I had money. Sigh.

A.B.S. ivory printed crepe belted dress, $155.55
This one's kind of plain-colored but I love the pattern and would wear some loud shoes with it!

A.B.S. ivory tiered silk organza mini dress, 178.50
Ok, so I kinda have a thing for white/off-white dresses. They look so sweet to me!

A.B.S. silver metallic brocade bubble mini dress, $155.55
I absolutely adore brocade! Especially shoes! But, I have a hard time finding dresses that don't look like tablecloths. This one certainly doesn't :-)

BCBG Max Azria ginger geometric jersey halter, price not available but I'm sure it's out of range!
This one is pretty casual, but I love that pattern.

BCBG Max Azria off-white dotted tulle strapless dress, $142.80
I like how this dress is borderline teen prom; it just makes it more endearing.

BCBG Max Azria (again) off-white embroidered mesh strapless dress, $193.80
This one makes me think of Mississippi barn dances that out-of-staters always imagine we have. Backwards as it seems, that is it's appeal.

Betsey Johnson blush ombre taffeta bow dress, $303.45
This is my second favorite of the bunch. I love Betsey Johnson dresses, and the colors make it seem very 3-D. I think you will also notice the running theme of bows blatantly expressed here.

Cynthia Steffe berry floral cotton halter, $168.30
Tied with the above dress for number two! This dress is spring-y and super-sweet.

Nicole Miller aqua swirl print silk chiffon dress, $158.10
I love the blue and the sweetheart neckline.

Nicole Miller daffodil silk chiffon satin trim v-neck dress, $158.10
I officially love every dress I have ever seen Nicole Miller create in gold. They never feel...overdone or tacky.

Nicole Miller olive "Maya oh Maya" silk ruched dress, price not available
This is my favorite one, so it's probably best that it wasn't available on the site, that would just further the torture. I love my figure and am not the biggest cleavage fan (since I have it in most everything, why not?), so I think this would be perfect.

Shoshanna fuchsia herringbone silk v-neck dress, $173.40
I am in love with the color of course. I could stand out anywhere in this!

Tufi Duek lavender jersey "Sthella" v-neck dress, $198.90
This color...is fab!

Vivienne Tam ivory silk lace detail strapless dress, $331.50
I love the mix of gothic lace and innocent white. This dress is fantastic! I could see height-defying bright-colored stilettos with this.

Vivienne Tam silver silk jersey sequin empire dress, $237.15
Absolutely adorable and I am metallic-obsessed (about 2 years too late) right now.

So...does anyone know of some similar looking dresses a cheapie like me could purchase, perchance?

Guilty Pleasures (Music edition)

I love Robyn. Ever since "Show Me Love" back in like '98 or whatever...I can't explain it. She's just fantastic. She has that tinny, pop-y voice, but wonderfully enough, neither her singing nor her songs annoy me, or do my head in, so to speak (I love the way people talk overseas!). She fell off fast in the fickle US market, but Europe knows her...mostly...I think. I love that she writes and produces too. She strikes me as really quirky and kind of strange, but that only makes me like her more. Take a look @ my blogroll..."Konichiwa Bitches" (I thought "beeches" would be much less offensive, haha) is my number 2 favorite song of hers. This is my number one.




"Who's That Girl" has great and simple lyrics, and...at the risk of sounding like a pothead...it speaks to me, man. Everything she says in the song is how I feel, but I guess music's supposed to do that. Plus I love the music. Electro-pop has always been a guilty pleasure of mine - but just like chopped and screwed music - it has to be "done right" and Robyn does it right.

Got My Computer Back!

It's a miracle! I am so glad to have it back, I have been on it for the past 10 hours or so, like a maniac. My eyes hurt and I have probably given myself eye cancer, haha. No matter, I am so happy! I felt so "uninspired" in the library haha...not that what I do really requires that much thought, huh? Anyway, like I said, my eyes hurt bad...I was eBay shopping and organizing my music. I will definitely post in the next 24 hours. Glad to be back! :-D

Not My Fault, I Swear!

Ok, so maybe the title is a little deceiving since I have been AWOL for a week. My computer broke, (again, damn you PCs! Macs are the best!) so I have to send it in for service. The battery won't charge anymore, so it just died on me yesterday. I have no computer, but I am in the process of getting a library card so I can access internet there. Sure, Roomie's got internet and 2 computers at that, but I have no idea how accommodating she will be since she is STILL upset (it's been three weeks, I think?). Well, whatever. You know how you don't want to need anything from someone who's been holding it over your head anyway? That's how I feel. I'd rather figure it out at the library than deal with that. So for about the next week or so, all my posts will be live from the library! Yay!

You may be wondering, if my battery died yesterday, what happened Monday through Friday? Or, maybe you don't care, have stopped reading, and plan to check back when I say something worthwhile. Haha, that's fair. I was taking finals. So, now I am officially done with school, and have the ability to post every day, and of course, my computer decides to give me the finger. I will post as soon as I get a library card. Shouldn't be hard, right?

I know, famous last words. If I'm lucky, it won't turn into an "Ok, so get this" rant.

I Got Tagged

Holy thunder clap, Batman! I just got awakened by the biggest crash of thunder I have heard since Hurricane Katrina hit. Of course, it's not raining that hard, thank goodness, but it set off a couple of car alarms. Oh well, perhaps nature was just waking my lazy butt up to finish all these stupid papers I have due, study for my test, and post on my blog. So...I got tagged, yay!

Ahhh, yeah...I have been waiting for this! My first tagging! Here we go:

* Create a link to the person who tagged you.

* Mention the rules for this game on your blog.

* Tell 6 unimportant things/(bad) habits (unspectacular quirks) about you.

* After answering the questions tag six other people and link them in your blog.

*Tell the people you've tagged about it in their own blogs.


I got tagged by the lovely Jovana @ Gimme A Chance, thanks, and sorry I didn't put it up sooner, I just didn't know who to tag!

1. I have my closet organized in color order. As much as I love prints and patterns, they drive me crazy because I have a hard time placing them. It goes from tops, to skirts and pants, to jumpsuits/overalls, to dresses, and then jackets and coats. My shoes are in color order too, from sandals, to flats, to pumps, to boots, to sneakers/trainers. I also have all of the hangers facing the same way. It makes others look at me funny but I am really serious about it. Luckily for me few people see my room...or my blog.

2. I like to notice patterns in numbers. For example, if a clock says 2:48 pm, I say aloud, "2 times 4 is 8," or if it says 11:12 am, I say "11 comes before 12, and it's also my birthday." I do it with dates, phone numbers, receipt totals, etc. I just try to keep it in my head...seeing as it's kind of irritating, and I am far from Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

3. I am incredibly forgetful. Since Friday, I left my wallet at a CVS (I decided to finally get one of those free discount cards, and totally left my crap on the counter), lost a parking ticket after I left the parking lot at the movies (we literally had just walked out of there and locked the door...wow), left my keys at the counter at Starbucks (when I realized it, the guy was grinning at me, holding them outward towards me when I turned around...and no, :-( he wasn't cute), and I lost my order pickup slip at Five Guys (Famous Burgers & Fries...mmmmm). It's only Sunday morning!

4. I have the entire collection of V.C. Andrews books, R.L. Stine's Fear Street books (I know there are multiple collections, and yes, I have them all), Christopher Pike's books, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, all the Harry Potter books, and all of the Georgia Nicholson books (I hear they are making a movie! I am definitely going to see it). Oh, and I had all the Babysitters Club (and Babysitter's Little Sister) books, Sweet Valley books, and Archie comics, but I gave them away at garage sales and stuff. Most kids my age at my school had a Nike habit, a jewelry habit, or a car habit that they or their parent's supported. As the biggest dork that ever lived, my parents supported my book habit, and I was the biggest book fiend ever. I would sneak them into restaurants, bathrooms...church...wow, God forgive me. Apparently, I really, really, really liked to read about white kids, hahaha. But no, the "African-American" literature books were just a little too grown-up for me when I was in middle/beginning high school. I love the atypical ones now, not about "sexing somebody's man, gettin' out the game, getting revenge, and cursing up a storm in the process, oh, and maybe finding religion." Like Zane?! If you have never heard of Zane, it's probably best you don't look her up...she traumatized my virgin ears/eyes as a freshman.

5. I was supposed to be in a movie at age 9. Hahaha, I tell everyone this. Of course, no one cares, hence its unimportance. John Grisham is a writer from Mississippi (well, he lived there a while) who wrote A Time to Kill, and they wanted a local girl to play Samuel L. Jackson's daughter in the movie version. So, my cousin and I auditioned, and I got the callbacks, all the way to the end. Apparently, my mother finds out that the daughter gets raped in the story, and she decides she "ain't havin' it" and pulls the plug on the whole thing. I think she was worried it might traumatize me, or that at 9 I wouldn't understand what was happening, I don't know. That's how I remember it, anyway. In the end, perhaps deciding Mississippi moms are too uptight (yeah right), they went with the adorable girl who played young Anna Mae Bullock (Tina Turner) in What's Love Got to Do With It? (that's a G.O.A.T. - Greatest Of All Time movie if there ever was one). Well, she mostly does Disney crap now, but she got to be on Even Stevens around the time I decided Shia LaBeouf was my supremely hilarious soulmate, so I sometimes shout to the heavens, Rae'ven Larrymore Kelly stole my career! Haha, I'm joking.

6. I can't live with people. Well, not in small spaces. I spent my first 8 years as an only child, but we lived in cramped quarters. I had to share all my stuff with my cousins and such, and when we finally moved on up (to a deee-luxe suburb in the sky), I then had a sibling (and then two siblings) to share with. As a teen, I was far removed from the family living-wise. I was relegated to the slave quarters (haha, guest room) behind the kitchen when my sister was born, and got used to - no, relished - the privacy. College living situations feel like a huge step backwards, but I am so broke. Living with roommates can really suck. I can love them to death, but I just never want to see their stupid faces every single day. No matter who I have lived with I find myself groaning in annoyance when I would see their car in the driveway or their light on. It's agonizing, especially since I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how I would live with a guy. Seriously. When I come home, I mellow out and turn off. I don't wanna be bombarded with sound and talk and anyone's f-ing aura/presence/ambiance constantly. I like quiet at home. I have never had a roommate that felt the same way. I got along with all of them but wanted their heads on stakes by the time I moved out. Not literally, of course. Does no one relax...quietly when they come home? Hands?

Ok, finally done. I am tagging people, hoping they haven't already done this.

Gloria @ <3 Life <3 Style
Aisha @ coloured bleu
Secretista
Any or all of the willing contributors (Susan, Pamela, Wendy-May!) @ R.O.F.Y.
Ana @ Snazzy Fashion
Molly @ Fashionyou