I Don't Have The Strength...

I've been doing my workout thing for the past two weeks in addition to my job, so I can barely lift my arms over my head much less focus my mind to the point it needs to fathom why this really is in existence. (seen @ Crunk & Disorderly)

So, apparently Eb the Celeb thought I was just joshing about Chris Brown's new underwear line, Big Headed. To be honest, I actually thought the whole thing was just conceptual, hypothetical, theoretical, debatable even (much like his singing ability). I was not prepared for the full-on website, complete with models, shopping carts, and MUZAK. To his credit, Breezy's face, body, and music are nowhere to be found on the site (thank God), so despite its vainglorious and (rumored) appropriate name, it appears to be no homage to his person.

My need to bitch and critique plus my desire to observe all things fashion apparently outweigh my (dearly missed) lack of interest in Chris Brown and his activities. I have to say something; my very nature wills it to be so. :-/ I will just say these things, and then no more, maybe.

1. Why are the girl's boxers constantly referred to as "Boxahs"? It makes my face hurt, for some reason.
2. These male models seem to surpass my douche tolerance level.
   
3. Imagine my horror/delight (?) in the (men's) "Breakaway Boxers" section when the models in the videos actually BROKE AWAY THEIR BOXERS. Oh, how I gasped/laughed. I was willing it to be so ("break 'em away, break 'em away, do it!"), and...there it was.
   
4. If you decide to take a look-see, keep an eye out (in the men's section) for gems like the "Condom Pocket Boxer" (convenient), "Danger - Fire Hose" (O_o), "Speed Limit: 69" (WUT), and my personal favorite: "Safety First - Clean Up Spills".
5. The girls modeling the bottoms are not wearing any tops. Just hands and tan lines. Why?
6. The "Peek A Boo Sports Bra" (there are so many jokes there) looks completely useless at doing anything but being removed by your guy...single/sexless girls need not buy.
7. I get the heebie-jeebies at the idea of thinking about Chris Brown when I put on my thong, or that Chris Brown had anything to do with the thong I would be wearing. That may be the grossest sentence I've typed on this blog. Trey Songz on the other hand...

Yeah, on that note...I am done. There is so much there, but I think I'll leave that to the hardcore Chris Brown fans/anti-fans to decipher.