Sarah Palin is like the Rihanna of Politics

Don't frown at the title. I am already ashamed of myself that I thought it in the first place, but there it is. It came to me, while watching the vice Presidential debate the other night. I sat there, wondering why the focus group's positivity towards Sarah Palin would increase with every cutesy thing she did. I kept thinking, "Do they even hear the words coming from her mouth? She's downright annoying!" (Not to say Joe Biden can't cause a nose-scrunch too, but if you want Barack Obama as your Prez, what can you do?) I swore to myself to stop being so hard on Rihanna, but I genuinely dislike her, which is confusing since I don't know her. I guess the same could be said about Sarah Palin. Whatever. I won't apologize, but at least let me try to explain.

1. Both view themselves as "outsiders" and beat that idea like a dead horse, using a specific word.
Seriously. Try not to play any drinking games where you take a shot per usage of the word "maverick" (Sarah Palin) or "edgy" (Rihanna). It's likely you would die of alcohol poisoning. Rihanna couldn't "edge" her way out of a paper bag. Being a "tomboy" doesn't make you different. Tons of hot girls play that role because guys like it, I'm told. Having grown up as a tomboy myself, I was always awkward around boys (b/c I was attracted to them) and girls (b/c I wasn't like them) and always defending myself against being a lesbian (which I have never been). Mixing prints or black and brown or metallics or wearing white after Labor Day isn't edgy either. Some of us have been doing that for ages. Edgy is not just style/fashion, it's an attitude that she just lacks. Unlike Rihanna, Sarah Palin is actually what she claims in some ways. To be a maverick is to do what you think is right, despite being alone in that idea. I don't deny that she thinks she is right in all of her views, but that doesn't make some of them any less stupid. Ok, not stupid: inane? Idiotic? Imbecilic? Global warming must be a figment of our imagination. Damn the wildlife of Alaska, right? Let's take away a woman's right to choose, even if the baby would be a product of rape or incest, or the birthing process could kill her. Ridiculous.

2. Both were initially endorsed as credible by some old guy with dollar signs in his eyes, who had known them for all of a week.
Of course, McCain's dollar signs are accompanied with visions of himself swearing in as President. Jay-Z was already President at Def Jam, if I remember correctly. Details are fuzzy. Both of these men are incredibly business minded and have been "in the game" for years. I'm sure for both that it has gotten to the point where they can spot a cash-cow/gimmick right away. McCain knew that having a woman in the White House is as much strived for by the minorities as have a Black man. Plus, the other gender seems much more encompassing than a minority race. Jay-Z knew that his girlfriend (now wife) was getting pretty old in pop star years (they are like Playboy Bunny years, actually) and he wanted to have a hand in her replacement. Plus, how many women can match up to Beyonce? Not very many. Rihanna, with her boyish body and short hair, seems less threatening than Beyonce, I imagine, even with her green eyes and cringe-inducing speaking voice. Sarah Palin has a cringe-inducing speaking voice as well. Yet, here we are. Well played, gentlemen. Well played.

3. Both are arguably hot.
I must admit, both can be ridiculously attractive at some moments, and just average at others. Some call Sarah Palin a "milf"/photoshop her head onto bikini photos and some call Rihanna "the current hottest chick in the game"/photoshop her nude, while others think Sarah Palin looks like the bitchy mom at the PTA or their own mother (shudder) and that Rihanna looks like a man or a Klingon. Regardless, part of each woman's appeal/trademark is her looks.

4. While carving a niche out of practically nothing, both dodge naysayers by crying foul.
Any disdain shown towards Sarah Palin is met with the cry of "sexism". Any shown towards Rihanna is met with the phrase "jealous hater" or the term "Beyonce stan". We live in a world where people (myself included) have blogs, YouTube channels, and/or Facebook and MySpace pages and say snarky, bitchy things so much that very little is even taken as genuine criticism anymore. Since anyone can say anything (that pesky freedom of speech), there are those people whose criticism does fall under the category of envy, but there are many more of us who feel we have legitimate reasons for our dislike. But, their avid supporters can't hear anything through the white noise of their assumptions of our insecurities.

4. Both began more or less under the radar before suddenly rocketing into such success that it leaves all of us who don't see their appeal scratching our heads.
I don't really have to clarify that further. Suddenly they are all over the place, being shoved down our throats from all sides.

5. Both have (currently) beaten out their main and obviously more talented "competitor" (so to speak) in their specific fields.
I think it's pretty clear that I am referring to Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. Both women are quite adept at their professions, at least in comparison to the current popular choice. All four women have their faults to a point; you might consider Palin and Rihanna to be Pepsi, and Beyonce and Clinton to be Coca-Cola. One type may have been around longer, but the other type has more flash and public appeal. Some prefer one over the other in taste tests and some just hate both drinks. Coca-Cola is sticking with their tried-and-true image while Pepsi has enlisted the help of celebrities to sell their wares (am I still talking about sodas?).* Whatever the case, Palin and Rihanna are preferred 3 out of 5 over Clinton and Beyonce. I mean, duh, Palin's currently closer to the White House than Clinton, and Rihanna's reigning chart queen over Beyonce.

6. Both are popular/famous for nearly anything but what their career title directly insinuates.
Palin is immediately recognized by her Tina Fey glasses, Hockey Mom bangs, and mandarin-collared, brightly colored suits. Rihanna is immediately recognized by her Prince, Kelis, or Posh Spice-inspired hairdo, Fefe Dobson wardrobe, and her misguided, eventually regrettable tattoos. Palin has yet to be complimented by the press for her political prowess, experience, or insight. Rihanna has yet to be praised for her singing or performing skills. This is the case even with fans of either, who admit that Palin has questionable political knowledge/Rihanna has questionable singing talent. Why is that so? My theory is that the public, so sick of having images in mind of women that were unappealing or unattainable, decided to support women so ridiculously flawed at their chosen careers that they would be instantly likeable and/or relatable.

Well, I neither like nor relate to either. I am at present so disillusioned with the buying and voting public - in many ways besides this - that were it not for my desire to be updated on the current events of my universe, I would limit myself from contact with all this bullshit posthaste. I can only hope that trying to create change in my own life will create some sort of trickle-down/out/around effect that will affect change all around me. I have gone on long enough, so I will leave you with a few videos to illustrate my points and these suggestions:

Vote for Barack Obama November 4th, and buy the albums of someone with actual talent. One way or another, it's time for change, people.



Hero Gone Bad


Please Don't Pon De Replay


Disturb-ya at the VMAs


From Queerty.com

Bush Doctrine? What's That?


What's the difference between a funny joke and an insult? Sarah Palin


Palin v. Biden Parody
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/vp-debate-open-palin-biden/727421/


Palin with Katie Couric Parody
http://www.hulu.com/watch/36863/saturday-night-live-couric--palin-open



Palin and Clinton Announcement
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/palin-hillary-open/656281/

*For the record, Coke kicks Pepsi's ass all over the playground, unless it's Wild Cherry Pepsi.