Original Prankster

Happy April Fools' Day! I gave up on the 4/1 jokes after high school, but I remember my favorites. In my finale joke, my pièce de résistance, I woke up extra early (which I never do) and hid under my parents' bed while cooling my hand in ice. When my parents' alarm went off and my mom put her legs down on the floor, I grabbed one of her ankles with my cold hand. She didn't take it well, suffice to say. She was a great sport after the fact and even got me back too (it's embarrassing, don't know if I will divulge it), but I could have given her a heart attack, or something.

I once put a real-looking lizard (that I bought in the Bahamas) in my Open Doors teacher's chair in 8th grade, or 7th. She screamed, hopped around and kicked it to the floor. Surprisingly, no one ratted me out.

I drew male genitalia on my older brother's face while he slept, and another year (I was in 3rd grade, I think), I put hot sauce on his fingers and tickled his nose with a pipe cleaner so he would dig in it. That produced funny yet possibly blinding results because he didn't feel it burning right away...and he rubbed the sleep from his eyes when he started awake.

That same year as the hot sauce thing (that happened during the day, this next one happened that morning) I put one of my brother's dirty socks in my cousin's mouth while she slept (hey, they read my diary together, so it's not like they didn't have it coming!). When she awakened (she did notice she was breathing funny, after all), she pulled it out, let out a howl, and put about half a tube of toothpaste in her mouth.

And, yes I have done the saran wrap on the toilet bowl, swapping sugar for salt, loose cap on the ketchup, hand in warm water, short-sheeting the bed...all the "classics", really, but my original jokes are always mean like that, because I have this strange liking for physical comedy. I decided not to do anymore though. I swear am not really a mean person, but for some reason, jokes like those make me laugh. I choose to sacrifice my amusement at physical comedy (most of the time) to maintaining good relationships with family members and friends. So now I just live vicariously through the April Fools' Day jokes and random pranks of others.

Got any?